I've spent all day in bed--and psychotropic drug hell

I've spent all day in bed--and psychotropic drug hell as I try to cope with the fact that I am sick, in pain (from the constant arthritis caused by these drugs), and unable to bear any kind of sensory stimulation.  All I can say is that it is like a severe case of the flu, even down to the aches and pains.  I just can't do anything.  Of course, at least I can walk when I have the flu.  My legs are dead and I cannot walk now, but it is not the fiery kind of arthritic pain that is attacking me everywhere.  I have to keep my eyes focused on what is just ahead of me, for I am severely autistic again, and cannot bear to see any kind of motion or movement in front of me.  Now it has even reached the point that I can't watch TV--the images just seem to move out and attack me.  I cry.  I rage.  I lay in bed and wish for death, but I know that the people who are doing this to me are evil sons of bitches, and they probably find my constant pain, suffering, and torturous hell just sheer amusing (except for the sick, warped Christians who see it as an opportunity).  Fuck you.  Opportunity only for me to separate myself from you and your evil forever.  I have to hang in there, but now I am in too much pain (arms hurt from typing) gotta go.