Mantra in my head

Mantra in my head--"Lord Jesus please free me from this hell."  I don't know what psychotropic drug I am on tho I suspect lithium because my vision is all shot to head, my brain is congested with csf, and my memory is steadily disappearing.  Unlike Wm Ayers whose book I am trying to force myself to read, I dont think "Memory is a motherfucker."  I think it is a faculty of the soul, and as always these psychotropic drugs steal my soul.  I dreamed I saw myself in the mirror and I laughed because I knew it wasnt me.  It has been a long time since I felt like me.,,