Doped up!

Yes, I am doped up again....sigh.  I missed another whole day from work after slowly reclaiming my body back from poisoned status over the weekend.  At least I know now what is causing my problem.  I felt fine this morning, ready to go to work, when all of a sudden it hit me---the feeling of being high to the point of incapacity,  It got steadily worse for a couple of hours, and then I slept most of the morning.  Finally, I got up and starting pouring down as much cranberry juice and mineral water as my stomach literally can stand.  Mentally, I feel a little better---able to concentrate a bit better, and keep my eyes open, instead of being ridden by the heavy darkness that kept calling me out to sleep and dream, but physically I still feel like I'm high.  Because I'm constipated again (a sure sign that its my thyroid glandular that they have swapped out with their poison), I went and bought an over the counter version.  I'm certain that it won't be as good as what I got from Dr. Philips, but at least I can try to get some kind of thyroid supplementation which I need.  I've decided to quit taking all my meds, and forget about doctors.  I don't trust them.  The whole medical industry is based on turning this society into a bunch of addicts---and one of the worst addictions they have needlessy created is this dependency on anti-depressants, which I am pretty sure is what I have been doped with during the past week or so.  I'm sure most people love this feeling of being high and out of touch with reality.  It is so much more easy to be passive and unfocussed, with one's disengaged emotions passing for serenity. Of course, the reason my emotions are disengaged is not because of lofty spiritual elevation that enlightens the mundane(though I honestly believe that a lot of religious seekers falsely aim for this), but rather that I am disengaged from the presence of reality, period.  I have no anger---neither at the abusive spiritual rapists who did this to me, nor towards any other indication of injustice.  In this condition, if I saw a woman or child getting beat up, I would just lightly walk away, ensconced in my private Idaho that I'm certain everyone would share, if they would just take the dope the good docors and priests and pastors want to feed us.  If I felt like this every day, I would never want to work, or exercise, or read, or anything, but just sit around and watch TV all day, eating chocolate (oh yeah, the body craves some of that white sugar to gives one's enervated, listless, slug-body a boost of energy and feeling of life.  I supposed if I wanted to be a tranquilized zombie like most of America (oh, and then I would be so much more amenable to the lies that the government, the churches, and corporations want us to imbibe), my life would be so much easier and I would fit in so much better.  But no, I prefer reality, however painful or harsh.  I prefer people who fight against injustice, rather than the ones who just passively swallow the Kool-Aid.  And that is what I was given today---and for the past week---massive dosages of Kool-Aid.  Yuck!  Trying to get it out of my system, just like that dose of Kool-Aid I just took from a SLI nun pretending to be littledebiechic.  Yuck!  Sometimes I despair that I will ever break free of those doped up religious nuts.  I wish I could talk to someone who loves me. But the most important thing right now is to start detoxing my body of this physical poison that is in it