Well, thanks to SLI & CO, and the MD they have now recruited into their cabal, I've lost two weeks of my life to depression, lethargy, mental fog, and weight gain. Because I need my thyroid medication, I have kept trying to experiment to see what they have poisoned--in short, everything. I'm still clearing the shit out of my system, and I am having serious energy issues in the afternoon, when the OTC thyroid glandular I take is running out. I don't trust these people at all. I know they are fully capable of poisoning the water that I drink. At this point they are desperate. They have years of abuse under their belt, and they are desperately seeking some kind of justification for what they have done to me. Well all they need to do is read Dostoyeski's chapter on the Grand Inquisitor, and they can count themselves among the legion, and growing number of religionists who abuse others in the misguided, idolatrous notion that God gives them power over another's body. Wrong.
The only person who has power over my body is me, and I will make my choices, and you can abuse me and prevent me from making them, but you won't ever get me to cooperate with you. I choose to have sex with an HIV positive person, and while that is a life endangering choice, it is MY choice and I have already agonized, prayed, and cried over it, and I enter it willingly and ably. I will never choose to have your poison enter my body. You can sneak it into me, and I will know, just as sure as my body wisdom would tell me if I were ingesting arsenic. I also know by the way it turns me into a fat lazy slug who craves sugar to try to feel energetic and alive. I didn't even know my roommate was on anti-depressants until a couple of days ago, but I knew by the way she was totally oblivious to reality around her and needed to escape reality through about 8+ hours of TV watching a day, that she was seriously depressed. I still don't watch TV when I am on anti-depressants, but I can't concentrate on anything--not even surfing the Web. I might as well be watching TV. I can't even concentrate on my work. I remember how drastically my saves rate dropped while I was under the influence of the poison---from 54% to 13%. I look around and I can tell when people are on anti-depressant medication. They just don't have any motivation, any self-iniative, no desire to live life to thefullest, and that is where SLI & co want me. They can control me that way, and that is McNamara's deepest desire. The man is nothing but a spiritual egoist, power-tripping, control freak. But he's got a lot of power, and he has involved other powerful people in the mix, and my body scars bear witness to that. What you don't have, assholes, and you never will is my free will or respect. I despise you and everything that you stand for, and I will fight and fight and fight until one day I am free of you, and your misogynistic, homophobic, sex-hating poison.
As for me, I have to struggle to get back to where I was 3 weeks ago--in peak health, happy, energetic, and losing fat weight. I have to force myself to go work out, even though my energy levels are abnormally low, and I can't stand to look at my body to see how much fat I gained while these pigs pulled their experiment on me, just as surely as if I were a lab rat. Anger doesn't help though. It's probably going to take me another couple of months to regain my physical, emotional, and psychological equilibrium. I just have to take it one day at a time
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