203 pounds and sick as a dog

203 pounds and sick as a dog as I struggle to maintain in the midst of the most godawful suffering.  I am definitely on lithium.  I recognize the unstoppable weight gain, the muscle weakness, the lack of contact reality, and all the cerebral spinal fluid that has my head floating and my right eye not seeing correctly.    And then there is the relentless nausea.  Even the most mild of exertions causes nausea.  I don't know how much longer I can keep doing yoga.  Even touching my toes takes monumental effort, like I just ran 5 miles and want to puke.   The bottom line is that my body cannot survive with this level of toxicity in my system.  Something has gotta give.  Maybe it was a mistake to commit to work tomorrow.  At this point I don't think I can qualify for a new project--just not in reality enough.  Going to bed.  I don't know what is harder--moving my arms to type or trying to hold up this floating, fluid bloated head on my body.  Bed. God help me.