Unable to concentrate

Unable to concentrate as these drugs sap all my energy and initiative.  I have lost years of my life to this shit.  I cannot read.  I cannot pray.  I cannot play music.  I surf the web, watch TV, and lay in bed while my unfocused mind, and drugged up body just tries to escape reality.  Soon I will be working but again, I don't know if I can hold a job as messed up as I am.  And then there is the smell.  I cannot stand my own chemical stench.  Every time I smell my body, I want to vomit.  Every morning I wake up and have to open up the window to let out the hateful chemical smell that lingers in the air after escaping from my pores in my sleep.  I am just disgusted beyond belief--with myself for being unable to exercise or function in life, but most especially to the assholes who have stolen years of my life with their stupidity and bodily violation of my once holy, energetic, and purposeful life.