Drugged to the point of dysfunction--tried to take off to the mts yesterday to heal my body and mind but some creep drugged me all up. I was able to ride my bike yesterday but came back with such a drug induced headache I had to take Fiornal. This morning I am so drugged that I cant stand any kind of stimuli (I think I am autistic again--that is a symptom of heavy autism; also not being able to check out peoples emotional reactions--such as on tv--its too overwhelming. My body is stiff and sore and crying out for exercise but I am too sick to exercise though I fantasize about going swimming in an effort to try to loosen up muscles but I am too sick to put forth the effort expecially knowing that some opus dei creep will just drug me up worse than I already feel.
I talked to colleen today. I envy her. I envy anyone who is free to live their life. All i can do is hope that one day I can be free again to live my life, that i can recuperate some of my bodily health and stamina, and that somewhere there is a lesbian woman courageous enough to mate with me.
For now I just have to suffer along, and try to live with this floating head, headaches, stiff neck and body and just a desire to be asleep or anywhere but other than the hateful, miserable, suffering realtity that is just my drug fested life.
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