Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Risperdal is over but the speed is redoubled

The Risperdal is over but the speed is redoubled and I am so fucked up by the shit I cant do anything, except deplore the weight I keep putting on.  I am over 200 pounds again and it is all fat--I am losing what muscle tone I once had.  I wish I could get up and work out but the speed acts like a total drag and depressant on me so that I cant even get up to clean my dirty house.  What is the point of working out anyway?  As long as I am drugged up with speed and psychotropic drugs, I will never be in control of my weight as they just all pack on drugs no matter how hard I struggle and force myself to do yoga, go for a little bike ride or push myself to do a 30 minute walk on the cardio machines.  I cant read.  I cant pray.  I cant clean house.  I am just truly miserable. 

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