Woke up very sick after a hellacious day yesterday. Sick to the point of not being able to function. Sick to the point of having been told in a dream to have my blood sugar checked for diabetes. I don't need a dream to know my blood sugar is all messed up. I am craving sugar all the time (and I dont have much sugar in the house). My blood sugar crashes all the time and I eat to try to feel better even though I am so damned nauseated. I am nauseated all the time, and am taking fiornal for sick headaches. I had hoped to try to write but the Risperdal like all psychotropic drugs completely undercuts my ability to think rationally and verbally. I can only think in images, and want to spend all day in bed daydreaming in a fantasy world (that is the prime clue that i am on risperdal). I try to watch tv, but now my motion sickness has extended from not being able to watch moving objects (like moving cars) in front of me, to not being able to watch moving images on the tv. Everything looks like it is leaping out at me in another dimension like i am wearing funny glasses. So i am taking dramamine too.
I am pissed off at myself for talking to Dale because I believe I brought this latest round of torture on myself. Everytime I talk ablut spiritual matters the damned, sick, warped Catholic Church starts salivating and scheming on how to bring me in line with their objectives. Well forget it assholes. My spiritual path and destiny lies on a totally different path than yours. I want nothing to do with you or your torture lies and manipulations. I am so sick of being sick.
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