Spark plugs and the "Ehrenberger Principle"

September 2nd

I think I figured out what the “spark plug” is that the stupidass, goddamned PIB Aryans are trying to replace. Now that they have totally destroyed my healthy body’s unique, but completely natural, hormonal/sexual system by castrating me, they are trying to force an unnatural hormonal change on me that will not work. I think I have figured out what at least part of my never ending stomach pain is—uterine cramps! I never suffered from severe cramps when I was menstruating—just, regular as clockwork, one day of fairly intense cramps. I learned the little secret that healthy women know—that masturbation/orgasm releases the uterine cramping and gives release. (I imagine sex would do it, too, but I don’t think very many women feel sexy when they are on their periods). On the rare occasion that uterine cramping bothered me, the hand was all I ever needed—I never took Motrin or Aleve for cramping. But now the cramping is severe and constant. I think that subconsciously I tried to use the secret trick of masturbation a couple of mornings ago, when I woke up in a serious cramp, but it didn’t work. I had some kind of weak, really pathetic orgasm but it didn’t even touch the nerves in my belly or release the cramping in my uterine wall. At the time, I was distressed that I was not able to have a normal and healthy orgasm, but now I’m concerned because the muscles seem locked, and there is no release, not even the sure-fire natural one. I figured that hormonal impact on my uterus was occurring, after a couple of days of suffering from really sore and tender breasts! They hurt, goddamn it. Those dumbasses are mimicking a hormonal “period” in my body! That is the “sparkplug” they are replacing without my consent, and I have to pay for it! (And believe me, I have “paid” for every stupid, abusive violation those PIB’s have done).
I don’t know what the XXXX they are doing. All I know is that, before they started their Mengelian experimenting and castrating of my body, I was not only in excellent condition, but superb condition. Now, I’m so XXXXed up and depressed that I barely have energy to move. Well let me give you a hint assholes. It doesn’t matter what my phenotype is, or what my body looks like on the outside. My true hormonal and cellular identity is male, and you cannot force feed me female hormones and expect me to be “feminine.” My feminine identity is a socio-cultural learned and layered identity that I worked at adopting and integrating, just to make my life easier in a gender differentiated world. Hormonally, and neuro-cellularly, I am male, and my body has greater need of, and responds better to, testosterone, rather than female hormones. Even my earliest dreams as a child and emerging adolescent all reveal me to be a psychically self-identified male. So now, I don’t know what will become of me, or how I will rebound, after the castration. I know that for a couple of days, taking testosterone supplementation, really made me feel human for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately, the PIB’s went in my abdomen and adjusted more nerves, so that the testosterone supplements quit working, thus destroying what little hope I had, of ever living a hormonally healthy and normal life.

But these cramps and tender breasts are killing me. I can’t live in this kind of pain with no XXXXing relief (since the one natural remedy that does work is denied me as well). As female hormones always do (I remember brief stints on birth control pills), my energy is zapped right out of me. I spent most of the day sleeping. I also think that the female hormones are responsible for the problems with blood sugar regulation. I smelled ketone acidosis on my urine this morning again for the first time in a while. Again, for the past couple of days, while this has been going on, I have been craving sugar. I never crave sugar, except when I am proto-diabetic!

There is so much I want to learn, study, and research, now that I have a better understanding of how the hidden alien dynamics and wars have shaped human life and reality. I want to read mythology (especially about dragons) and history from a fresh perspective. I need to do a complete rereading of the Bible—the Pentateuch and the historical books especially, from that perspective. I want to go to the UNM library and do research. So much do do, but I am so XXXXed up with this forced hormonal alteration of myself, that there is nothing I can do. I feel like Schit. When does this nightmare end?

…The following morning…well, well, well—what doyaknow…I am having a period. One stray egg that the Nazi Aryans did not get. I wish it could give me some satisfaction, but it doesn’t. I am still in a lot of pain in my stomach and diaphragm area, as well as my back. It is as if my entire body is encased in metal rods. When I went to put in a tampon this morning, I literally could not get my arms and torso to move and make the reach. I have put in hundreds of tampons in my life and no matter how locked my back or torso, I never had such a problem before. The PIB’s have wrecked my body. I got a call from the Orthopedic department at UNM. What the hell for? I’ve got spasmed muscles in my stomach and soft tissue lock in my back—there’s nothing wrong with my spine—except as you assholes messed up my natural body spinal adjustment when you castrated me. I can’t go to the dr. for pain relief. The butchering Nazis will either throw me in the psych ward or use it as just another excuse to put me under anesthesia, while they mangle my internal organs and spinal vertebra even more? I don’t think so.

Because I no longer have the energy to do yoga (I can’t even hold myself in a down dog position without needing to lay down), I expect my body will slowly petrify, for I cannot do even gentle exercises to try to get some movement, some limberness. I try to do a little exercise, and gray haired old ladies pass me by on the bike trail, asking me, “are you okay.” (Yes, I just have all my energy drained by alien implants for their satanic reptile masters, and can barely move…)

Anyway, so much for the physical. Last night I dreamed a dream that has me wondering once more if I am ever going to be allowed my sexual freedom. I desperately long for a partner to share my life and my bed, but given the hell that is my life, I fear putting anyone I love in harm’s way. Anyway, even if I am dreaming about it, such a scenario is not currently an option, so there is no point in dwelling on it. More importantly was a a dream image in which the phrase “Ehrenberger Principle” appeared. That is the way I saw the phrase spelled in my dream, although it could also be “Aaron Berger.” Anyway the image connecting with the “Ehrenberger Principle was that of a huge asteroid or rock hitting the Earth, but the “Ehrenberger Principle” allowed for it to be gently absorbed by the Earth, making a deep, but relatively small bore hole, instead of exploding with catastrophically explosive force on the surface, unleashing tremendous damage. Anyway, I don’t know why I dreamed that, unless some friendly power was trying to tell me something, so I throw it out there for all those who know more than I do. I wish I could get some “friendly guidance” on what to do about the broken Gulf stream loop. There is no doubt that was done on purpose to help hasten another ice age, and the Nazi PIB’s are still working it. If something doesn’t change, I fear we could be in for serious weather repercussions. Hopefully, some brilliant scientists and climatologists are REALLY working on it…