I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.  Everytime that I start to feel good and healthy, clear and energetic, I get whammed with psychotropic drugs.  Not only can I not walk (again!), I cannot think well enough to maintain a conversation with anyone.  My brain is totally gone.  My despair cannot be imagined nor my rage fathomed.  Mostly I am enraged at myself.  I can't believe that I was stupid enough for one minute to think that these religious fanatics who have stolen my life from me would actually let me healthy and happy on the only medication I really need--the thyroid meds.  No, they won't be happy until they have destroyed me--either by breaking down my once vital and bright mind, or unless I conform to their sick, warped version of Christianity (that will never happen).  The most heartrending feature of this was that I actually was feeling peaceful and centered for the first time in years, but whether that was due to the thyroid meds or to the fact that for a brief few days, I was clear of all psychotropic drugs I cannot tell.  Terribly depressed at the thought of enduring more of these psychotropic drugs and the fear of the permanent damage they do (and have already done...)