I spent an agonizing day

I spent an agonizing day with abdominal cramping, pain, and tenderness, while my body tried to adjust to the lack of T4--levothyroxine.  Finally, thanks in part to a OTC thyroid glandular and digestive enzymes, I can eat again, but my stomach is still bloated, distended, and tender to the touch.  I have decided that it is no use complaining about my health, wasting my money for trips to the doctor, or for that matter to even pay insurance premiums.  My body is under assault from the speed and lithium, and all I can do is cover up and wait for the brutal punishment to end, hoping that one day, through exercise, diet, and appropriate medical care (the T4), I can reclaim at least 70% of the healthy, robust vitality that I knew two and a half years ago.   My healthy days all seem like a distant memory as I suffer from constant muscle spasms and inflammation, an ongoing fluish feeling and drain on my energy, as well as a complete lack of concentration or ability to exercise an intellectual or spiritual life.  If I could just read or contemplate, so that I can enjoy this forced misery, it would be tolerable, but the best I can do is watch boring TV, or lay in bed with a heating pad while my muscles continue to involuntarily contract and spasm in a manner that I actually think is neurological, caused by all the pressure and inflammation in my brain.  Nothing for it but to keep going, one foot in front of the other.