Maybe I owe an apology to Opus Dei.

Maybe I owe an apology to Opus Dei.  I had assumed that my thyroid medication had been tainted from motive of forcing spiritual mortification on me.  But this morning, I woke up miserable not only from the bloated stomach (I took a digestive enzyme first thing this morning), but also miserable with lithium in my system.  So changing my thyroid mecication is just another attempt to force psychotropic drugs onto my system.  It won't work.   I am not manic depressive or schizophrenic, and all these drugs do is mess me up, make me sick physically and confused and dazed mentally, and finally they make me  unable to even function.  Already, I got the first symptoms of lithium poisoning on me.  I feel sick and fluish, dragging myself up and out of bed, barely able to walk, or as is the case now, to type, with these weakened arms (now that I think about it, I probably was under the influence last night in yoga because I was too weak to hold the positions).  I remember last night I was at the library reading the same pages of my book over and over again, trying to understand what the words were saying.  I thought the problem was the speed, because I cannot read when I have speed in my system.  It doesn't matter what kind of psychotropic drug I am force fed.  They all are effectively destroying my body and my brain and darkening my soul, forcing it into protective hiding, even from me.  For the first time, I am forced to concede that I am not going to be able to hold a job when I am this incapacitated by drugs.  For one thing, I cannot get up in the mornings, because I cannot sleep at night.  I wake up sluggish and exhausted at around 10 am every morning.  Fuurthermore, my brain is not clear enough to survive any kind of training or sustained concentration, and my body has too much pain and not enough stamina to work an 8 hour shift, much less a 10 hour shift.  For the first time, I am recognizing that I am going to have to apply for disability.  Totally depressing to even think of it, but my body cannot function like this. 

So do I owe Opus Dei an apology?  Only in a very limited sense.  They may not have been directly responsible for tampering with my thyroid medication, but they still remain the ones responsible for my suffering at the hands of the security intelligence community.