fucked up again

fucked up again so much drugs in system nonfuctional. head heavy with fluid. worse of all is pain in leg and knee. poor knees are constantly swollen with edema. read a story of satanic rite last nite. recognize that satans minions (you know the primary ones monitoring and reading this) are desperate to get me in their camp. no fucki g way. of course, the socalled Christians are satanic too. Anyuone who tries to create conversion or mind set by pain and suffering against one will are of the devil, and they can go to hell. around me I see people who really love and supprt one another (in public) and u know those are the people of genuine spirit, not anyone of opus dei, sli, or any of ratzies crowd. i long for the day when I had someone who trulyloved me, and yeh, it has been years. maybe someday i can love and be loved again. right now im just in pain, worriedd as hell about the swine flu and pissed at the realization that the same sick bastardsa that have made my life a living hell r murdering again--how many, Lord. wait and see. have to deal with my pain.