Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Resentful? No, too goddamned sick to be resentful. 3rd day that I have been completely nonfunctional. Too sick to read, too sick to surf, toosick to watch tv. Any efforts at any of the above give me a severe migraine headache. Brain cannot stand any stimuli. all i can do is sleep and dream--tghe dream of a feverish person. My back is startin to lock up buth there is no way i can do yoga. there is no way that i can drive. My only goal for today is to take a shower--last one i took was on firday, sat i skepped and sunday i woke up, too sick too move. but it takes such immense effort to move a hand or leg, i dont know i fican get up the effort to stand in shower for 15 minutes. not depressed tho. i know why i am suffering this. and i choose it. I dont cooperate with depraved, fraudulent evil that unfortunately now sits at the highest levels in this land. id rather die first, and all the goddamned drugs u give me cant change my moral center. not that i expect that to matter--the people who are druggin me woulnt recogniz morality if it steamrolled them.