Nothing but bad news

Nothing but bad news--dragging myself to public library as I am so drugged that it is a struggle to put on clothes, stand up, walk. Just want to lay in bed and fantasize. Need to shop, do laundry, move on computer, but am barely functional. im driving when im so drfugged i shouldnt be on road. at nite, i have to put up with the electrical jolts ever few seconds to my body. just want to be drugged up all the time so i dont have to feel this alienation of self from body and spirit. legs are so neuropathic that i am damaging ligaments tendons as I walk. i cant feel the damage till done. have to try to stay positive even tho id int get job offfer i whope i would get. honestly, im too drugged to hold a job.