Bunch of little posts that have not been transmitted

Bunch of little posts that have not been transmitted, due to being so sick that I have barely been able to move. For the past several days, I have been abducted nightly and injected with viral bugs in the right frontal area of my brain (close to the next posterior division--cant remember what it is called right now--say 2 o'clock position, closer to the top than the sides...). Not only can I feel the swelling of the injection site, it leads the whole surrounding area swollen like a 1 inch emerging orange in my head. This causes intense pain. Super swelling in the brain. Way too myuch pressure in my head and on optic nerve. back hurts bad. no yoga in over a month. Sick, heavy head, barely able to hold up. Heavy metal poisoning. Sick, sick sick. can't eat right because I am so nauseated and suffering from indigestin, no matter how small the portions I eat. I don't know what the PIB's hope to accomplish by injecting me with their goddamned chemical poison (though web research leads me to believe that it is being injected into the "intuition center" of my brain, but I know what their ultimate aim is--for me to be the "aryan saint", that they envision will save them from dominance from the reptiles. Well, guess what, you dumb fucks, I know my vocation better than you do, and for all your evil manipulation of the time continuum and reality, you don't know me or my vocation. I AM NOT CELIBATE, NOR WILL EVER BE, JUST DAMNED LONELY AND UNSUPPORTED. I AM NOT A WOMAN, AND THANKS TO YOU GODDAMNED EVIL PIECES OF SHIT, I AM NOT LONGER A MAN. Where I fall in the metaphysical continuum of non-being, I have to live, but I am not able to live when I am so fucking sick that I can barely function. But I know one thing--the overwhelming evil you have done to me--the drugs, the lack of regard for my free will, the theft of my ova, everything--leads to the inescapable conclusion--that your own evil is what puts you under the domination of the reptiles. If i am to do anything to change future reality, it will only be done once I escape your evil dominion, and right now I don't see it happening any time soon. Everything is looking dark. I dont jknow how i can keep going, literally. i am too sick to hold a job and wi wont move back in with mother. i will live in homeless shelter first. I remember dreams about my mother, but i am too sick to write out dreams or what I believe. all i can do is post insistently that I will not support your sick warped version of the future. You know nothing of the spiritual life or health. i know, but i am too sick to write it out. trying to keep positive attitude when i wake up so severely depressed every morning my first thought is why does God keep me alive when I just want to die?" Why I don't expect the reptiles, the Borg, or you Aryans/opus dei/jesuits to understand (hint, hint...I just laid out the three big players in the evil slien interaction with Earth), I am furious, JUST FURIOUS, at those who should know better--specifically those who have all along cooperated with the reptiles, borg and aryans to make my life a living hell, and boxed me in ever tighter until ther is nowhere to move or go, except death. Because I know I am
FURIOUS at the deception and misery inflicted on me, I am not writing mcuh. I am afraid that I will put down words in anger that I will regret later. Too much pain and anger to go on right now. especially since i am so goddamned sick.
postings from the past few days.
FUCK ALL YOU GODDAMNED ARYANS AND YOUR GODDAMNED NWO LUCIFERIAN ALLIES WHO ABDUCT ME EVERY NITE TO PUT YOUR POISON IN ME.


August 15th-I need to quit using the word, “drugged” to describe what happens when a viral download takes place. It feels like being drugged-not in a good way, but in a very bad way. Speed. ADD. Anger. Fear. Paranoia. Heart and brain racing. This is not drugging though; it is worst-hormonal tampering. I know that elevated cortisol and stressed adrenals/adrenaline are a big part of it. This dominos into so many other negative and unhealthy biochemical changes which creates multiple health problems and symptoms-most regrettably for me, elevated blood sugar to the point of possible diabetes. It turns my once sunny and happy-go-lucky, if intense, disposition into an unhappy, agitated, irascible kind of person who cannot focus on anything more than a couple of minutes.
So what exactly is happening? I think they are forcing activation of latent “ET” genes, and I have some really nasty, reptilian genes. I believe that the purpose of the viral download is to “uncoil” my DNA, removing the “Write Override Close” protection, to allow for my DNA to be overwritten and rewired. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THIS DNA OVERWRITE HAS ANY SALUTARY BENEFIT WHATSOEVER TO HUMANITY. I despise every change that has gone on in my body (what, you think I should get excited about ‘psychic’ abilities. PFFFFTTTT). Real communication, real people, real life-that is what gets me excited. This process of DNA change has trashed my body permanently, caused years of terrible suffering from heavy metal poisoning and all the goddamned drugs the PIB’s threw at my brain. Now, in addition to the constant fatigue and low energy, I have another problem-years of braces and orthodontic surgery are being reversed as I develop a significant overbite, and lose my lips to swollen, fluid-filled facial tissue. This is not only aesthetically dismaying, but it causes constant annoyance and discomfort, because I literally cannot shut my jaws and lips together in a position of rest. My once natural dental “bite” is gone, and I am miserable with the resulting overbite and “won’t-shut” mouth. Furthermore, I am afraid that the constant stress of opened, never-resting jaws is going to cause my TMJ (which has been a huge and painful problem in the past-almost certainly caused by earlier abduction medical tampering) to recur. And there is nothing I can do about it, and there is nothing I can hope for. For years now, I have documented the suffering I experience at the hands of these PIB’s. Yet, no one would believe me when I told them that we were being duped, that no one with even the most minimal of respect for the human being, ever would do to a person what was being done to me. Instead , everyone participated with the PIB conspiracy against me, drugging me with every chemical in the book, trying to force me to believe in my so-called “mental illness,” zapping me with electromagnetic pulses, before they finally put the implants in my body, eliminating the need for the outer, physical activation of viral download.
Once again I’m proven right, but at what a cost…if people would only just talk to me, work with me, relate to me, they would understand that I'm not schizophrenic or manic-depressive… As it is, I sense that a great tragedy has befallen the forces for good, and there is nothing I can do about it, no one to talk to about it, to help me confirm, grieve, release, and resolve. Suffering alone, just like the women and children of these psychopathic monsters who are assimilating us, with practically no resistance…

Upon awakening, I realize that I was abducted again last night, but not by the reptilians, but rather the Borg who have easy access to my mind through the brain and neurological implants. Once again (old hat now), they attempted to hack my dream state. Once again, last night (or rather, in the early morning), I suffered from the constant brain/nervous system rushes that make it so hard to sleep (so in order to sleep, I try to focus my mind on music, instead of feeling my own bodily sensations). I understand now that the brain implants AND the excess fluid medium in the head and body work together, not only to rewrite my DNA, but to provide a conduit through which another entity can enter my mind. The PIB’s could not get sufficient fluid in my head before. Instead, it congested at a relatively “low level” and blocked their access. It also made me VERY ill, especially when they force-fed me psychotropic drugs to accentuate the psychotronic implants. When I sought medical help from the alternative healers, they figured out what was happening. Unfortunately, when the healers figured it out, so did the PIB’s, who then took the info to further enslave me to their technology and agenda. Kris and Laurie figured out what caused the lymphatic block in my face, but the PIB’s took the corrective action which led to an increase the psychotronic fluid level in my head to such an extent that now my entire facial/jaw structure is changed to the point that my upper jaw is jutting forward and overbiting so much that I literally cannot shut my own mouth at rest. It is not the healers’ fault. Even if they had known of the sinister and evil agenda of the PIB’s, (and like most others, I think they honestly believed that the “Sirians” (i.e. BORG) actually were trying to help humanity), they would not have been able to prevaricate and lie before the probing power of the PIB’s invasive telepathy. It is just feeling impossible to fight abduction by the Borg as long as I have these implants in my body, and I have been sold out, as a bargaining chip, so that I see no way to escape the mind hacking in my dream state. Of course, I spent years writing and analyzing my own dreams, and so I know the difference from a dream from God and/or my own unconsciousness/deep self, and one that is imposed on me, but I am tired of not having a normal dream life and I worry that these nightly injections of “bugs” (literally nanoprobes) are going to leave permanent damage on my brain.

Once again, I feel curtailed to end this post before I am ready-not anything I can do about it….later.

Later, now I can say that I am drugged-and I am. I guess I am not supposed to feel the anxiety and irascibility of the viral download because I am so drunk on serontonin (or whatever sedative they have given me today) that I am walking into walls and barely able to keep my eyes open. Always starts out so slow-at the beginning and middle of the day, I just feel so tired and dragging, not really caring about anything. I can tell in my eyes when I am stoned on psychotropics and could see in the library’s mirror earlier today that I was definitely drugged. Now I am so superduper stoned that I can’t open my eyes or think or function. I try, but I just am barely able to function. Don’t know if some telepath (white, not black, as they usually are) was trying to contact me in the library. Not interested. I don’t do telepathy with people I don’t know. Consider it incredibly rude, violating, and prone to serious error of interpretation when all one sees are a few stills and not the movie. Words, verbal communication is what enables proper context and understanding of the images. I wouldn’t be surprised. The PIB at the gym the other night (of course, a sick and no doubt racist, freemason white man) was enjoying his telepathic invasion of me. I just cussed him out in my head and moved away. No point taking telepathic invasion personally. Today, I just didn’t care. The guy didn’t even merit me putting up boundaries. Of course the Taylor Ranch library has much more elbow room at their computer stations, as well as a more courteous and truly studious clientele than the downtown branch I frequent because it is less than a mile from my home. None of this would be an issue if I were healthy, and able to just proactively relate to people no matter what THEIR hangup, but I’m not healthy.


Pounding headache behind eyes and on top of head. Shooting pain in ears. Way too much pressure in head. Think may know what is wrong. Too sick to do anything aobut it. Suffering so much. Pain incredible. Worried about right eyhe. WAY too much pressure on optic nerve. Messing eyesight. Afraid im going to los eyesight. Nothing I can do about it. Too much pain.

On top of all that, painful heartburn back. Ate a handful of oriental trailmix and four sushi rolls for supper. Body is too XXXXed. Way too much sugar. Body cant digenst even small amts of food.

Aug 20-Woke up wishing I were dead. Honest to God, I wish I were dead. I am so tired of this neverending suffering and misery. Stomach so bloated out, hard to breathe. Cant exercise. Cant open my eyes. Just sick God, sick all the time. Tired of struggling. Trying to get by. I know who is responsible. The same goddamned aryans responsible for the hell that has been myt life for last twelve years. Same focking goddamned pigs who stole my eggs. SAME STUPID BASTARDS WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HOLINESS OR SANTCTITY IS BUT WHO THINK THAT IF I JUST TIME TRAVEL TO THEIR REALITY, I WILL SAVE THEIR WORTHLESS ASSES. FOCK YOU PIGS. ID RATHER SEE YOU DEAD THAN HAVE ANOTHER BEING GO THRU THE HELL I GO THRU EVERY DAY I WAKE UP. MY IDEA OF HOLINESS NAD SANCTITY COULDN’T BE FURHTER FORM YOURS. BODY HURTS SO FOCKING BAD. HEAD HURTS. BODY IS JUST A BEACHED WHATLE. NO END IN SIGHT. DON’T THINK THE GODDAMNED ARYAN PIGS WILL EVER LET ME GO…..SO DEATH, GOD, I PRAY FOR DEATH.