Monday, August 2, 2010

My God--the EVIL,EVIL,EVIL

My God--the EVIL,EVIL,EVIL of these alien (and human allies) Aryan Nazis--after a horrible night of pain, I woke up severely drugged so that I wouldn't remember that once again, these goddamned masters of evil are abducting me and violating my body in an attempt to turn me into a mind-controlled puppet spouting off new age pietistic nothings. To do that, they have to destroy my sexuality. As I so presciently and accurately stated at the very beginning of this blog, when I first encountered their evil machinations to destroy my sexuality by incarcerating me for loving a woman, TRUE SPIRITUALITY IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, LINKED TO A HEALTHY SEXUALITY. The biggest heresy of the Christian Church has been the denigration of human sexuality, and it started very early with the lie that Jesus Christ was celibate. He wasn't. He had a healthy and self-accepting sexuality, and almost certainly, physical progeny through marriage with Mary Magdalen. But the Aryans despise their own humanity (and thus their own true spiritual life). They prefer to identify with a soulless machine, and there is nothing that destroys "The Machine" like sexuality. Human desire triumps over circuits and gears everytime (I am reminded of Jane Fonda in Barbarella--which just goes to show even the most campy of our arts know and convey more truth than anything the Aryans can with all their advanced technology and sophisticated deceit). But it needs to be a true sexuality, a mature sexuality, a genuinely free (NOT a compulsive addiction) sexuality that honors and commits to the value of their partner. The "consenting adults" argument, while contingently tolerable in immature youth, is never enough for the spiritually mature and resposible adult. The kind of hedonistic, pornographic sexuality to which so much of contemporary America is addicted and enslaved is almost as debased as enslavement to THE MACHINE (almost, because the sex addict still has an element of spiritual freedom which can lead to "repentence and conversion" and rescue her/him from the addiction whereas I really doubt that anyone enslaved to THE MACHINE has any free will left with which to choose.

The only free will I can exercise is that of my spirit, that of verbal expression because I am abducted and violated at will, and though I do not have any memories, I think I was abducted and violated again last night, for purpose of abusing the same most offensive member to slaves of THE MACHINE--my clitoris. Since my castration, I have noticed that my clitoris has shrunk from its normally large size to a tiny little pea. When I woke up the morning of my testicular castration, I noticed that my clitoris had dramatically shrunk overnight. I am not sure why. I don't think they physically semi-castrated me as is practiced, in true horrific and barbaric practice, among certain tribes, cultures, and fundamentalist, patriarchal religions today (a precursor of THE MACHINE, designed to destroy the true spirituality and fullness of human life and sexual expression--but only in women!). I know they have deadened nerves and furthermore I think that they may have "retracted" the clitoris up inside of me. Most certainly, it is not the same me. I think it fair to say that along with tens of millions of deeply unfortunate and soul-humiliated women of this world, I have been clitoridectimized (I am not going to look up the spelling of the word. It is an abomination to God and to humanity that it even exists). But I think they tried to do something further last night--that is why my groin and inner thighs are so sore. They had me trussed up while they tried to clitoridectimize me further!! I spent all day, peeing all over myself--they messed with my urethal tube--although I finally, after 5 pm, seem to be peeing normally again. I have felt emotionally dead all day. Will I recover? I don't know. Am I still capable of orgasm? Yes, but it truly a pathetic orgasm. I guess in all future reationships I am going to have to experience pleasure vicariously by giving pleasure to my partner. But nothing is going to stop THE MACHINE from destroying me. The only thing I can do about it is fight back with words. And I will. Amen

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