living dead

Hassles. Hassles.

August 8, 2010
Living dead. Didn’t know I could be alive and feel so bad. All energy gone. Cant stand cant walk. Spine hurts so bad. Cant do any exercise. Havent done yoga, not even child pose or down dog in over three weeks. Belly hurts. I know that’s where vampiric implants are.. sucking all energy. Too sick to care. Rarity for me, eating sugar. Trying desperately to get enough energy to be alive. Think purpose is just to hook up mind to machine, and drain mind. Dreams have no connection with body reality. I know images are beig pumped in… Think that is purpose. Worried about weight. Think im going to have to quit eating. Too sick to take any vitamins supplements. Maybe only way to die is to quit eatin……. Lower back dead no sensation. Cant be possible to be alive and suffert his much. Praying God for death.

Good news of a sort…this evening went to watch an exhibition football game on tv. Brain literally couldn’t follow it. This is good news because I have been here before. I remember trying to watch football games from last year, and not only being completely uninterested in even my favorite teams, but even worse, too sick to watch motion on the playing field. Cant follow the ball or the players. Eyes can only look straight ahead, no action, no motion. Because ive been here before and survived I guess I can hope. Want to write, but so sick, brain cant keep train of thought.. just want to lie down. Every muscle in body is locked and spasmed and it hurts to sit up, lay down, stand up, body just hurts terribly… body all spamed and pronating outward from joints. Been here before. Can live. Don’t have any desire to, except to help my children fight against the machine.

August 9th—Psychotic mind. Funny thing—every body who drinks the proffered koolaid talks about the “clarity” of aryan mind. It is not clear. It is sterile and barren and PSYCHOTIC (mind disconnected from body reality). No doubt this is facilitated by the implants and the nanotechnology they have placed in my solar plexus, visera, sacrum, and entire nervous system, which creates alienation between body and mind. Alienation to point of psychosis. I try to stay oriented to reality but it is not easy. I am barely capable of any emotion, which is scary because I cannot emote out negative emotions thoughts and perceptions in a healthy way. Instead im aware of it being repressed and developing into a cold, unfeeling hatred. Spiritual hatred. True hatred. Satanic and Luciferian hatred. Pathological hatred. Nazi hatred. It is this cold unfeeling hatred, created and fed by the disconnect from emotions and body that has led the aryans to become monsters, such monsters that they would wreak their own psychotic alienation on others, steal their bodily issue, deny them their sexuality, and even, my God have pity on me, castrate them. And incredible as it seems, these pathological, castrating entities and their co-opted human minions (the ones who integrate and accept the transhuman implants that destroy their humanity, and create unfeeling monsters), are in position of strategic and tactical strength in all facets of our political establishment and military. Even worse, they are maneuvering to destroy all credible opposition, to establish permanent dominance. Their current plans were put in motion by the deliberate hatchet job done on Gen. McChrystal. This enabled a truly upright man, Gen. Petraeus to be put out of the way at Centcom, and take a demotion to become battlefield commander in Afghanistan. He probably took it, accepting the bait that it would put him in a powerful position to run for president in 2012 (not knowing that the second part of the equation change would ensure that he would never be more than a puppet). For the hidden second part of the strategy was to place Gen. Mattis in charge at Centcom. Gen. Mattis is one of the “lost,” sold-out to alien “principalities and powers” humans. Checking out his eyes on various prominent photos, I can tell that he, indeed, is not only evil, but even worse, is no longer fully human. This is not because he is a “give ‘em hell” kind of general. It is the reflective mirror, the lack of emotions that I see in his eyes. Unfortunately, for me, when the implants are really powerful the viral downloads, I can see the same alienated reflective orbs staring back at “not me” in the mirror. Mattis was confirmed in tandem with Clapper of the intelligence office. This was a double whammy against the powers of good in our government ( a deal made to save the lives of astronauts in the space station?) One thing for sure—the upshot is to leave me even more heavily victimized. As sick as I am however, I have to try to do what I can, sound the alarm or all humanity will suffer the monstrous, emotional, psychological and spiritual castration that I experience in my own physical flesh. I would not wish this castration on anyone, not even those who have consented to it.