Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Miserable day yesterday,

Miserable day yesterday, as I could not get up the strength to do anything, sidelined by psychotropic drugs.  I didn't even have the ability to touch my toes for over a few seconds--the body just could not stand any effort at all. Now I am a bit better, as it is only the omnipresent, hateful speed that hampers and deadens me, putting a lid on my energy and spirituality, my ability to concentrate, focus and read.  Last night I could not sleep as the speed caused such curvature in my spine that I could not lay flat on my back.  I realize that all of my bodily pain (and let's not forget the nerve damaged left thigh) is the result of speed deadening and tightening my muscles--all my muscles.   As I observe reality around me, though, it is clear that I am not the only one suffering from the knowledge and very real coercive power of the inner secrets that not only actively seeks to destroy  me and my self-determination and free will, but that of this country and this planet.  Like the others, I have to carry on as best I can, even though every single move and effort is like mountain climbing above 20,000 feet.  But if they can try and persevere, so can I.

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