The pain is not so intense

The pain is not so intense as it was last night when I was up to 5 in the morning, crying with suffering.  I may be on thyroid meds--I seem to be digesting a bit better today.  But my nightly hell of psychotropic force feeding has begun.  I go to bed, totally unable to do anything and feeling like shit, and I will wake up hating life, and forcing myself to get out of bed.  Same old routine I've suffered for two years now.  SICK OF THIS SHIT.