FUCKING PIGS

FUCKING PIGS NOT ONLY SUERGICALLY EDITING MY BODY to meet their aryan standards of perfection, but also they are editing my posts. I recognize this but find it difficult to do anything when I am so sick. And God in Heaven, I am so very sick, I don't know how I get up and move. Every muscle and joint in my body aches. My back is wracked in severe pain, not just the lower back pain, which started once they castrated me, but now the upper back,, where they cut out an entire set of ribs and over half of my breast. Severely autistic, finding it difficult to drive or listen to any noise of any kind. House hasn't been cleaned in over a week. I am very close to calling a service to come and clean my kitchen for I am too sick to do my dishes. I wish I could explain, detail, relate the depth of the pain and suffering I experience--not just the horrendous physical torture that has me praying for death
, but also the emotional torture caused by people who should know better, the same Christians who sold me out to the powers of evil every step of the way, and continue to sell me out thinking that the abuse and loneliness is helping to create a great saint, as abusively and destructively misguided as the aryans who think they too, are creating the great saint, by destroying first of all my manhood that was my inner strength, and now my womanhood, which was the social life and mask that enabled me to function in society. Im too sick to go into it. It doesnt matter. I was listening to a very smart alternative healer on the RMN radio, and was exploring her thoughts, when I remembered, no matter what I do to heal myself, my torturers will just turn it against me. Nothing I can do but endure. Hard to endure when I feel so bad, I just want to sleep forever, and wake up painfree and drug free from all the goddamned psychotropic drugs these fucking pigs are destroying my body and brain with. Been a bad day, but I have to stay on top of the news. So much happening, i cant process it all--esp as sick as i am, but I have to trust God will let me know to reveal anything that might be up.
and if i dont, it is just because I am too fucking sick. time to leave and drive home so messed up should nt be driving.,