Tuesday, January 13, 2009

206 pounds and all is hell

206 pounds and all is hell--severely depressed over my out of control weight gain. I dont know if i will be able to fit the clothes i just bought. I cant gain any more weight --i am at max at clothes already i cant afford to have own personal tailor. I am too short to carry this weight.
Severely autistic right now thanx to whatever fucking drug these assholes gave me now. Unable to keep eyes open. cant bear stimuli. Everything overwhelming. Yoga was very difficult because I could not stop vibrating and had no sensation in body--totally alienated from every part of my body--feel like a grounded beached whale. Very depressed that these fuckers keep playing games with me and destorying my body and my ability to digest (once again i have a cinder block in belly but its not caused by lack of thyroid--rather it is what they gave me). Unable to do anything. Too fucked up to write read or do anything.

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