Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Got enough energy to clean kitchen today

Got enough energy to clean kitchen today--it has been on my agenda for a month. Just either too damned lethargic or downright deathly ill to do anything about it. Also took on another agenda that has been sitting on my plate for a month--looked up the prescription that the dr. gave me for Inderal. As soon as I started reading about it, I started laughing to myself. My inner intuitive voice tells me immediately when a drug is good or bad for me, and there is no question--this is a truly horrible drug for my body (and in my estimation for anyone who doesn't suffer from a severe and life threatening heart disorder). This stupid pinche drug causes weight gain, hypoglycemia and insulin resistance, lethargy and mind fog, along with serious inability to concentrate. Now why in God's name would I take a drug that has these side effects when I already suffer from them at disabling levels? I'm miserable enough already with this lethargy and blood sugar/carbohydrate digestion problems, and difficulty concentrating. If I were to get any worse I don't think I could get out of bed. As it is, I have to drag myself out anyway. I just can't believe the stupidity of these people. This is bad news for me. No drugs to make me feel better, to make me feel human, to make me feel normal. Sick of this goddamned shit, and no relief in sight. A truly hopeless, despairing day on every level.

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