never ending hell

never ending hell--cant believe the level of drugging pain i am in. force myself to try to go for bike ride. so fucked up icant go more than a couple of miles. then come back slammed by psychotropic download that spasms my back so bad i cant hold head up strait. upper should er locked in permanent spasm. long for flexiril, major painkillers, anything to stop goddamned pain. menwhile lower back is permanently out because of lower back spasms. all so godamned fmotherfuckers can get their stupidsass aliens to hack into my brain. too much pain to care........