Monday, December 22, 2008
I want to vomit
I want to vomit--Im so sick with whatever fucking drug I am given. Basically (as before) I suffer from all the symptoms of migraine without the head pain. Its what their goddamned psychotropic drugs do to me, has done to me, and im too goddamned sick to do anything. I cant stand any stimuli whatsoever. I get motion sickness just walking (how the fuck am i supposed to get on a plane tomorrow?) I am too sick to even watch tv. couldnt watch any games yesterday. too sick to drive. too sick to do yoga. walking aroundk like i am in a hi fever. cant bear to open my eyes. everything is just reduced. i remember how joyful i was a seek ago because oi could experience reality. now reality too painful to bear. Tried to surf internet but the stimuli has made me sicker. have no fiornal, thamnks to stupdi md who wont give me anything. i wishto god that people could experience the hell i live in for just one minute, so they could understand what hell i suffer. its made worse because i constantly give these stupid the fuckers the answer as to what is wrong with me, and they take it and then give me more goddamned psychotropics. somehow have to pack. need to start right now cuz it probably take all day. Got to say one thing tho. Fuck you opus dei. i know you are interfering in life and dreams guess what motherfuckers never. never. never will i be turned into a soulless spiritless ideologoue of religion like you. ive founght u before in ur inquistionon and i will fightr you till i die. i am not one of you notever, no matter how many psychotropic drugs or manipulated dreams (oh yeh u think i dont know) u put in me. FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR GODDAMNED ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH which has destroyed a once vital faith of the people. God help me. Just help me pack so i can be on a plane tomorrow.