Strange things going on in my body--suffering severe abdominal pain coupled with sciatica on my left side--I think Ive got an enlarged spleen or pancreas caused by inability to digest fat (Ive been eating some Anasazi beans I flavored with smoked pork). The thing is, that while the inability to digest fat is a long standing issue Ive dealt with (I was told a long time by a naturopathic doctor ago to take digestive enzymes with lipase), the thyroid medication cleared that all up. I don't think TPTB have pulled my thyroid meds, because I would miserable with digestive stoppage if they did, so all I can guess is that there are weird things going on hormonally with me that's causing enzymatic changes. My poor body just yanked one way and then another... I'm pretty sure I know what is going on with me, but there is so much more that I need to understand that I guess I will have to study some more, even though really, I wish I could just listen to a lecture on this stuff instead of having to read it. But as usual, whenever I feel halfway human (and I got to say I feel halfway human again), I'm like a squirrel furiously storing nuts before the winter hits. I know it won't be long before they slap some other drug into me, so I have to take advantage of the "warm weather" and take care of household details before I get too sick to accomplish anything.
In the meantime, I am thinking of how best to present my case to the doctor for some kind of dopamine agonist. Why not just make a case for RLS? (Because I am not a liar). But I really think I have it--I just didn't recognize it, but I know when I am being drugged because the first place I feel it is in my legs. I want to get up and run but know that my legs won't do it (I have to say--I did 50 minutes of cardio today, and while I am getting some strength and stamina back, I still cannot feel my legs--but it has been so long since I felt them...., and my joints are still stiff and arthritic. Even more clear than RLS though, I suffer undoubtedly from peripheral limb movement disorder. That is part of the reason I am writing this, drinking vodka on top of Tylenol PM to knock myself out, is because my muscles and limbs keep twitching and spasming, in every part of my body, shoulders, legs, feet, even my solar plexus. Nothing new. Has been going on for over three years now, ever since these doctors of evil decided to damage my brain and give me Parkinson's to satisfy their own lazy incompetence at diagnosis (how come I can figure out what is wrong with me after a few hours of reading an anatomy textbook and listening to my own body and symptoms, and they make hundreds of dollar an hour, with all that training and licensure, and knowledge of what is really going on with me, and yet they can't come up with anything close to a solution? No creativity. No ability to think and problem solve. Wrong priorities--all tilted in favor of the pharmacological companies who are destroying our brains and bodies with chemicals). I'm thinking of writing an essay on what is wrong with medical recruitment and training in this country, and forwarding it on to somebody as part of my response to Obam's invitation for ordinary folk's ideas on how to improve medical care in this country.
Then on top of that, there are the brain rushes. I thought the serontonin was causing those rushes, but obviously that is not the case. For I am a lot clearer than I was, though not completely--I can always tell by how bad my eyes our, and after an hour of laying in bed trying to sleep while muscles twitched and brain rushed in waves, my right eye is really bad telling me my head is congested again, and yet the brain rushes continue jerking me awake everytime I start to fall asleep. I tell myself to hold on--that I am seeing the doctor in one week and I hope to get something that helps. In the meantime I ask myself, "am I ever going to feel my legs again?"