Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Been here before--struggling to survive

Been here before--struggling to survive while dealing with constant drugging--now of the "speed" variety. Because I have been kicked off the internet, my whole normal range of coping mechanisms--mostly "shaking" is denied me, and my head is so weighed down with fluid while my eyes find it difficult to stay open. So tired all the time. I force myself to go to the gym and try to work out, but I can feel more and more my fitness slipping away. THere is just no way that a human person can survive severe muscle spasms 24 hours a day without lasting repercussions. I realize that I can no touch my toes without big effort. My joints are so stiffened that I hobble rather than walk. I hope my body forgives me.

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