Wasted day, wasted opportunmity

Wasted day, wasted opportunmity--unable to even get to testing for job intv. After struggling to take a shower--my musculo-skeletal system so messed up i could barely lift legs into tub, and only after great concentrated effort. but i realized after shower, sensory percepttion too messed up to drive, absolutely impossibl for me to take a test. i think the bastards did it on purpose. i think they cause suffering and pain (and believe me it is has been a day of agonizing suffering and pain) on purpose, because when one is in severe pain, they disassociate from body, and i believe that is what they are trying to accomplish--get me to disassociate from my body so some alien evil entity can take over--ocultis would call it a walk-in or possession; I call it demonic influence or possession. But they havent been able to succeed. I know--my dreams tell me so . but they keep trying to break me down with never ending pain and psychotropics. dont know what they are giving me now--my urine smells terrible--even worse thatn usual when I am suffering from these goddamned psycchotropic downloads. maybe they just increased does. certainly feels like it. day has been agonizing. hips, back, nec shoulder, head all hurts. cant function. cant drive. have to get car in shop but cant drive. need groceries cant drive. but one thing is certain. the more i suffer the more i stiffen my resolve and hatred of these sons of bitches. truly evil. dreame d i was to read winston churchills biography, and i know what dream was trying to tell me. i will fight with every tool and weapon and breath at my disposal. the more i suffer the more i hate the evil that is being done to me and is the future of the rest of hmanity if the evil people in power can succeed. nothing to do but fight, suffer, and die. and i will.