Suffering on unimaginable scale today

Suffering on unimaginable scale today--nother wasted day. i beg Gof for unconsiouslness, to escape the pain, the dead body, the psychotic state that i am in. i iknow that i am close to death because the brain stem cnnot be strangulated like this for long without death. death i welcome u. you are my friendc please come. whos my tormentor this time? i suspec the politicos rahter thant the chrisotcarats. i saw a psychic probing me , mr zztop, abusive invasive. never met a psycic i liked as a human being except that black chick who was tinas friend and that preppy, comfortable, middle manager from boston who sat next to me on flight from ontario to phx or abq. the rest of them --about a half dozen, sorry specimens of humanity. im probably paying for the little gem i directed to mr zztop, but i dont care. i meant it, heightened by my suffering and pain, but i meant it. have no respect for people who do to others what has been done to me. im not interested in working for any clandestine services. i know that in the cosmopolitan centers of this country, people of my type are a marginalized, vanishing breed, but i am proud of who i am--a Crhistian, a disciple of Christ, a person of values and integrity, who bases my actions on my faith in God's law and grace. no i would never be a good fit for clandestine services. I dont know which is mor e appalling, that elements of clandestine service would try to assassinate a president, or that the president would turn aruond and assasinate agents of the clandestine service (the same president who touts his "constitutional" law background and gives TERRORISTS--not extremist, dont get me started--who have murdered Americans more constitutional due than members of his own country. my God, we have become Rome. The only place for a person of integrity and value in Rome is to the lions---and I am ready to go.