never again

never again will i come to this place to be drugged. i have no family. i just have fucking torturers. dont know what kind of fucking drug im on. i suspect lithium because i want to ghet drunk, slice wrists, scream, but over in the corner sits the woman who gave me birth looking for opportunity to throw me in psychtric hospital. too sick to fucking care anymore. too sick to do anything but wish for death. why do i continue to come here to this hell place and hell mother? some kind of stupid fucking loyalty? dont know but know its all over . have to hang int here for eight days. eight days of sheer hell, but its over. all over. something inside me has snaapped and as fucked up and miserable as i ma, i know its all over. last time ever.