Sick to the point of unbearable

Sick to the point of unbearable--slept all day yesterday too drugged to even eat--just drank apple juice. today i can get out of bed and even managed to drive to lowes to aget some water. cant stand tap water whn i am sick. ev ery muscle in my body hurts--ribs hips, knees quad back neck. It hurts just to stand my rib muscles dont want to hold me up. too sick to think to read to function. dry migraine. I ask myself what is the purpose of this suffering--to make me holy ha ha ha, to break me to be a moronic puppet of evil--I know that that is in vogue right now but aint never gonna happen. Too sick to work. that I do know. cant function