So depressed

So depressed after a full day yesterday of enduring muscle spasms and severe pain from the phsyyctropic shit. My left leg is so fucked up in its spasmed pelvic girdle that it hurts to even walk. Every muscle in my body is locked. And I just don't see an end to this never ending misery and pain. I don't see me ever being a free human being again. I don't see me being able to hold a job or have a lover. I see constant suffering while a bunch of goddamned et aliens and fascist politicians and religiuos figures suck my life, vitality and spirit right out of me while they try to split my mind to channel "Sananda". God, please let this end. Death is preferable to this hellish torturous slavery I endure.