Back to square one

Back to square one--fully convinced as i have been before that the primary psychotropic drug the luciferian fuckers are downloading in my brain is speed. Speed, as in crystal meth, which is the closest I have ever experienced this miserable hell before. Crystal meth for me was miserable. I read that some people experience euphoria and concentration. Well, it is the most hateful and drive me out of my skin and mind experience that i have ever had, and it causes me to LOSE concentration, which is why my fantasy life is so high after years of receding--I am not able to concentrate to stay on task in "reality, " as much as I wish i could. Technically i think it has to do with norepepinephrine and epenefrine (i cant even take sudafed without feeling im going crazy), but I am too drugged up on the gd shit to be able to think it thru. I just am getting to the point tht its not worth doing anything--no yog a or exercise of any kind as long as i spend my days in hell on this shit. sooner or later I will die or God will have mercy and kick out this gd evil spirit that enables me to be so victimized. I think the goddamned luciferians think that they are getting closer and closer. their problem--they don't know the living and true God, therefore they cant fathom how someone cant be fooled by lies. But they can induce and create, and I think ENJOY, suffering, and that I cannot evade but only endure and pry to God for release.