For the first time in years,

For the first time in years, I forced myself to run. I didn't run very far--I ran in bursts of 20-50 yards for about a half hour. Pretty awesome achievement for someone like me, who cannot feel or control my legs. It was hardest on the hips and back, though, as the alien implants immediately forced those muscles there into rigid spasm. I was lucky to make it back home. The alien implants started shooting the nerve pain through my ankles and I barely got home. Note for in the future--drive or bike. What a tragedy that I can no longer walk for any amount of distance--a mile or two or three--comfortably. All my joy at physical exertion, exercise, and yes, exhaustion, stolen from me by torurers who have no love of the human body or the human condition, but want some luciferian outcome in which they think that they transcend the joy of being a mortal, flesh and blood, body-person only to become slaves to a mental holographic prison. I think the reason I love watching "Kill Bill" (besides checking out all the fine women kicking ass) is that like, Beatrix Kiddo, I want my revenge. I don't want to kill anybody, but I want revenge against the horrible torture and injustice done against me. And like Beatrix, who spent three years in a coma, my body is totally dead. I understand her, when whe drags her paralyzed body up and tells herself, "wiggle your big toe." I told myself today, "run to the pole", and though it was only 20 yards away, I felt as ecstatic as Heidi and Klara when Klara could get up and make a painful step.