The wow is over

The wow is over and life is back to its regular subpar normal. Once again, I am suffering from nerve pain in my legs, as the fluid continues to accumulate on my nerve ganglia and my feet. I look at my ankles and feet with all the crisscrossed laser lines and wonder if I might eventually lose my feet and/or legs to amputation. Because I know the kind of substandard and lying medical treatment I will get, it's no use to ask a doctor---I just have to take life one dy at a time. I am functional today, as yesterday, but other than that, things have returned back to FUBAR normal. I walked yestercay to the library (about one mile round trip), but knew I couldn't meet my original goalof walking to the post office (round trip--two miles. I feel like a 70 year old senior, when I attempt to walk--so precarious and difficult to walk on totally deadened, neuropathic legs.
Then, there was the humbling realization that no poetry would take place. I had gone to the library, just to read. Since it is winter, I am hoping to spend at least part of my day in the library, so that I don't run up a huge heating bill that I cannot afford. But, as usual, going out in public just gives my torturers the opportunity to start the psychotropic drug download, which makes it impssible to concentrate or read anything. I am trying to read HP Blavatsky to get a grip on the occult understanding of demonic possession, since it is clear that is what TPTB have in mind for me. Of course, Christian that I am, I resist with all my might, but it is hard to keep up a meaningful resistance, when so much of it happens when I am defenseless in sleep. But once again--for the past two nights, I have had my dreams interfered with, so once again I am not capable of much, except watching tv. But I can't afford cable any longer. I thought of going to satellite which would be more affordable. Then, I realized it would enable the AAS (alphabet agency spooks)to amplify their attempts to hijack my unconscious, so that is not an option. Once again, feeling the depression and hopelessness that comes with not being healthy or mentally clear, but I have my FAITH, and hope in God to sustain me. So sustain me, Senor.