hell nite

hell nite last nite as I understood how Jesus felt, asphysiating on the cross. I was so filled with fluid and muscle spasms that it hurt to breathe. I don't know if it was the spasm or thoracic fluid that caused the hell, but it was extremely painful. I nearly went to emergency room, since i could only breathe shallowly, and every time i took a regular pain, i suffered severe pain. this is hell. this is unbearable. woke up so fucked up , just wish to God i were dead because this kind of suffering is unbearable. is it related to the goddamned space shuttle. dont know dont care. just fucking miserable and wishing for death. i cant handle another nite like last night. imposible