so fucking drugged not functional

so fucking drugged not functional. can barely keep eyes open. hands swollen and shiny from all the fluid in body. so goddamned depressing to be so fucked up. cant clean, cant read cant bike cant fucntion. Last nite i suffered from the brain/nrvous system rushes that make it impossible to sleep. everytime one hits it jolt the entire body awake, drives me crazy. i wonder if im on lithiu,// lithium causes it. dont know. just know im so fucking sick and miserable, imso sick of being sick and miserable all the time. . left arme dead.