I am so much more mellow and focussed when I understand what is happening. I finally "get" what I have to do in order to ascend. Last night I dreamed that the elderly woman, "Loretta" died. Watcher is now in interdimensional custody (whatever that means) for his interdimensional transgressions--probably doing the genetic manipulation bit, including the birthing of whales that I briefly carried overnight, and his persistent attempts to impregnate me, against my will. I know this is complicated, but I no longer have time to pursue a thought to its irrefutable conclusion. I am fighting to save my soul, and every moment I spend at the computer is a moment, I am not focussing on ascension, which just got a lot more complicated. You see the third partner of the triad, the consciousness of JFK, is now in me. That is why I was so discombobulated and cranky, yesterday. Then the aftermath of sex with PF was really weird, too (oh, congratulations to my newborn twins conceived in that encounter. Daddy loves you and is trying to get to you). I am a real afterglower, since sex leaves me with a deep peace which I rarely experience, but yesterday, as soon as I climaxed, I told PF, "I gotta run", and got up to take care of business.
Even at the time, I thought that was uncharacteristically odd of me. Then, there were the strange images that kept flashing in my unconscious during the day--literally, like I was having memories of another life. I wondered if my encounter with the Amon RA serpent which I killed, had somehow downloaded memories of other people in my brain. I forgot to mention it, but the whole Amon RA pursuit was complicated by magic, illusion, and "flipping". The closer I got to the serpent, the more my brain was flipped by such thoughts as "it's already dead" or "I'll kill it tonight when I feel better", but mostly just confusion as I tried to stalk it.
You know, my unconsciousness must be opening up, because I can now see things happening in the interdimensional realm, while in meditation, whereas before I never could. However, in this particular instance, I had to have a blank state, because there was too much illusion being placed in my brain, so I went catatonic. At one point, I told PF that "I was being flippant", because I was acting like a juvenile again--that is one sign I am being flipped...I am turned into an immature, rebellious teenager. Anyhow all is well that ends well, and yesterday ended well.
The mystery of what was going on in my brain did not clear up until last night with my dreams, and now everything makes sense, especially the dream I had a few nights ago, with Dick Cheney telling me, "We won't allow any Presidents". The dream was more literal, rather than metaphorical, as I wrongly interpreted it at the time. Clearly, I have agreed to take on the consciousness of JFK, so that both of us can ascend into the interdimensional realm, together.
It is not such a hardship for me, because really, as I have said before, I am set up for dual consciousness; indeed, there is a certain vigor I experience when it is there, a lack I have noticed in the past few days, once Set was removed. However, the downside is that I now have another consciousness to clear...yes indeed, I am working on consciousness #4, now. Clearing consciousness is really hard work. I spent all morning, working with PF, trying to cast out multiple "evil spirits" of lust. You see what happens is that, every time a serious "sin" that is not repented or cleared, it leaves an etheric "bug" in the body. Mostly we cough them up or sneeze them out (which is why the wise ancients always used to say "bless you"--for these are occasions of expulsion of evil spirits). When I am in a loving state, I find it much easier to cough up the bugs. Otherwise, I have to strain to do so. Also, engaging in energetic motion, like yoga and physical exercise, will cause the bugs to cough up. A healthy immune system will do the same, which is why happy people are healthy people. They may engage in "sinful actions or thoughts", or be susceptible to evil spirits (nothing like an encounter with an Amon RA cult in the interdimensional realm to do that to you), but they don't dwell on it, because they are able to love and forgive themselves, and the bugs will cough up naturally.
Now, the whole theology of guilt and forgiveness is involved, but basically, there is a lot of good teaching in many of the world's spiritual traditions. It is just that so many have been co-opted into handing out bad and judmental vibes and feelings, and reinforcing neurotic guilt, which actually leaves the soul more vulnerable to interdimensional (afterlife) demonic predation. I mentioned that this is what happened to Jesus, and I know from my earlier experience, that this also happened to Therese of Liseux. Some saints, the pietistic, devotional, dutiful ones are much more susceptible to this than others. Thus, I fear John Paul II is having his spiritual "liver" eaten out somewhere, whereas the likes of Dorothy Day and Thomas Merton are not. I am not speaking from any kind of ideological POV. More than anything, I want to make sure that no one suffers this kind of hell, and so I hope that responsible spiritual leaders and pastors will do their best to disseminate this information, so that people do not accept a guilt-ridden, sacrificial conception of spiritual love, because while such love may be genuine, it attracts the predators and demons, as well as the angels and saints, and they are quite experienced at reviving people from death, in order to feed.
Even as I write this, I feel the artificial "hardness of heart" caused by literal implants, infested with parasites, all around my heart, under assault. It grieves me to think that anyone could endure any length of time in interdimensional hell, even people of good heart and spirit, like Jesus. However, death, however noble or just is not an escape route from personally felt guilt, and so I was wrong to contemplate suicide. It will not save me from this interdimensional predation that I brought upon myself and the multitudes of this planet, 13,000 years ago, when I chose to join the Luciferian (Salusa is Lucifer) rebellion. Lucifer may look like a shining angel, but Lucifer's source of power is the Amon RA serpents, and as long as they rule our galaxy, evil will rule and people and the entire Earth will suffer.
So, I hope to get both JFK and myself, into the interdimensional realm, where we can get some respite from the Amon RA cult into which we were born. The stakes are high, because Amon RA considers us traitors, and the penalty for that is draconian (pun intended). That is why Jesus suffered so much--not because he was good and holy, but because he was incarnated into the world as a son of Amon RA and the MACHINE, and he chose to completely repudiate it. That is why I have suffered so much in recent incarnations, and why JFK suffers. So, it is truly an honor, and not a duty, to try to save his soul in the process of trying to save mine. It just will take some extra work--clearing out of his consciousness and working to prevent the competitiveness beween our two beings--this probably was why yesterday, I descended into low vibration. After sex, the two consciousnesses were jealously competing for one woman. We have to learn to cooperate, and I have to learn not to get uptight by the KaBal's attempts to eroticize this fraternal love, by homosexual taunting thrown in my face through hologram manipulation. I have to learn a lot--how to keep my anger in check, how to love the KaBal which is constantly tormenting me, and I have to do all this with all the hormonal complications caused by excess estrogen.
Once again, I am full of fluid, congested head, and have the "pregnant belly" syndrome--especially after eating. This morning, I smelled the ketoacidosis in my urine again, even though my diet yesterday was a 6 inch sub sandwich, 2 pieces of chicken, 4 4 tiny slices of pineapple, and a cookie in the morning. The bottom line is that my body runs on male hormones, and force feeding it female hormones causes nothing but health problems, and severe weight gain, and muscle turning to fat. However, there is nothing I can do about this. The KaBal has been force feeding me estrogen and the virus for years now. All I can do to escape this misery is to ascend, to get a male body and hormones, which can then respond to the virus more naturally and healthily. It helps to have a brother to pull along for the ride, but again, this is a daunting challenge. Please, everybody, keep us in your prayers, so that we both can be free.