Tuesday, July 17, 2012

You can't keep a good man down

You can't keep a good man down, although God knows the Faction 2 went overkill last night to try to do so. They tore out huge chunks of flesh near my sacrum and lower back, apparently to get the viral fluid circulating near that. What they ended up doing was putting me in severe chronic pain, since my back is so mutilated that no energy or fluid flows right, and so now I am in constant lower back and leg pain, from the fluid pressing on my nerves. So now, I can barely walk, as it is painful to lift my legs more than an inch or so off the ground.

I also am nearly catatonic with the brain tumor syndrome that I experience when there is too much pressure on my brain stem. I mean I find it difficult to move, even in the slightest gestures. The brain is mostly in shut down mode, unable to receive and interpret stimuli, or interact with reality, so that I spent all morning living in my imagination, which is what I do, when the brain shuts down to outer reality.

However, you cannot keep a good man down, and so I spent much of the morning doing healing work with Linda, by imaginatively role playing Osiris and Isis. You know, imagination is true gift that the 12D interdimensionals don't get to really indulge, but it has always been my friend, and is how I arrive at a lot of insights, so when the brain is shut down to outer reality, I just withdraw into my imagination.

Anyway, it worked! Linda tells me that Osiris' rage has disappeared. She has been relating to him from the depths of my unconscious, which I myself do not know. I see a blank mind. She sees a whole another drama unfolding. Still work to be done, but that is good news. Good news too is that my Cygnan DNA is reactivated. To cap the healing process we had sex, and while I was very weak and unsure that any progress had been made, still, initially, i felt my sex drive return. However, the proof is in the pudding--the one baking in Linda's oven. Yes, she is pregnant from that lackluster sexual performance I put in this morning, so my Cygnan genes must be reactivated. I knew it would come back--I just didn't know when.

Sex as always, revivified me, and so I got up to take a shower, and while dressing, and preparing to come down to the computer room and check out the day's news, Linda hooked on to what was happening in my brain, when I had a stray thought about Watcher Loretta.

Let me begin by saying that I am a little sorry that I spoke about Hair Salon Watcher, because yesterday Faction 2 captured her, and now they will have her powerful interdimensional gifts at their disposal. Still, she/he is such a good person, that I can only hope for the best. For now, I have to stay focussed on my ascension, and that involves a lot of "truthing" about the Watcher of whom I have written extensively on this blog--Loretta.

Now, a while back, I agonized (consciously) over whether Loretta was basically a good or evil Watcher. It is my nature to be generous in my assessment of people, and on top of that, she clearly was an intimate of Linda's, so I was inclined to be generous. I really did not have enough information to be scathingly critical, even after what I CONSCIOUSLY knew that she had done to me My "Christian" side which always tries to see the good in people, whispered to me, that her meanness to me was the result of an understandable jealousy.

Well, she had me duped really good. As a matter of fact, the longevity and scale of her evil against me, is overwhelming. At the time, though, I may have been handicapped by a deal that I had made with her in the interdimensional realm. Playing on my guilt, she told me that Linda and her were married (she forgot to tell me that was over 12,000 years ago, and that had ended in divorce at the time), and so I "agreed" to inhibit my relations with Linda. Well, an agreement based on an egregious lie is invalid, so I have no more guilt, but at the time I wrote that I thought that she was basically good, I probably did. I also had niggling fears that a critical review might kill the financial reset, which I knew was needed so desperately. Now, I would not let that deter me from a full accounting of the truth, but it helped tip the scale, as tried to figure out honestly, "is she more good or more evil?". I now know that a big part of the guilt was karmic, since I had encouraged her to join Salusa's rebellion at the outset, which somehow resulted in her own fallen interdimensional status.

However, I had NO idea before today of how extensive Watcher's evil against me, really was. Loretta has been my own personal devil, who has handicapped me, and undermined and destroyed my destiny and efforts, at every step of the way.

As anyone reading this blog knows, this timeline is completely messed up. The KaBal has flourished in a way that it was never meant to--so that something like 9/11, which was never in the timeline, did occur. Well, a huge part of the corruption of the timeline is that I did not ascend to interdimensional status as a Black man, when I was supposed to--in the 1980's. Some of you may remember the photo I circulated along with the book on alchemy that I wrote and published while in the other timeline. Well, the reason that I did not ascend was because my conversion experience, which happened when I was 19 years old, was not a complete success.

I do not know if I have written on this blog of the conversion (or mystical or religious) experience I had when I was 19--three days of intense communion with God and two nights of visions, which ended abruptly, when I terminated the connection. The conversion experience WAS very healing, and left me a much more spiritual person, but my consciousness did not ascend, as it was meant to. For years, I suffered from neurotic guilt, feeling that it was my failure to complete the conversion process, and endure the burning of the flame that I envisioned, which resulted in the aborted experience. Now, I know that I actually aborted the ascension, deliberately, to protect my own consciousness from the evil that was lurking nearby to snatch it up.

Again, for years, I told myself that had the conversion experience been completely fulfilled, I might have ended up like Joan of Arc. (I had no idea that I actually had been Joan of Arc in another lifetime, and certainly the knowledge of the "Bust" that was her mission, informed by unconsciousness to abort). By this, I mean that I would have been a misunderstood, vulnerable mystic who would have been able to do a few great things, but I would have been swallowed up by wordly powers of evil, since I did not have enough ego to defend and protect myself and my spiritual gifts.

Well, I was right. I know now that Watcher Loretta, who has been my personal devil, probably my entire life, was there at the conversion experience, and she brought in demonic "calvary", just as my mystical experience was peaking. That is--she brought in the Tall Whites (Dog Sirians) from the Moon base, and the reason I know this, is because of the very last vision I had--and which is the only vision from two nights, that I can remember. It was a vision of a starry Cross coming from the sky, getting larger and larger, as it came right at me--it was the southern Cross, the home of the Tall Whites. Now, even at 19 years old, I knew that Constantine had seen such a Cross which he used to explain his Christian conversion. Since I was Constantine in another life, my deep unconsiousness would have known that Cross had nothing to do with Christ or the life of spirit and sacrifice, but that it was pure evil coming to trap my nearly loosed consciousness as it ascended, so I terminated the ascension attempt.

That was probably the worst thing Loretta did to me, because that was to have been the key and pivotal point of my life, and I was to have been in a man's body before all the implants, drugs, and negative abduction experiences, which include the murder of the Black man, multiple rapes, and overall terrible trauma and mental abuse. I also think that the 50+ genetic children that were born through genetic manipulation from my stolen ova, and who have suffered greatly from slavery and reptilian rape themselves, were meant to be born through a loving union between Linda and myself.

Perhaps the child who has suffered the most has been my Grey child. Again, I have written of her, and how Loretta helped me find her, so that my family and the Patriots could rescue her, from where she was held in solitary confinement. Now, I know that I have said that she was a Grey hybrid, but I was wrong. She is a nearly purebred Grey (and looks just like them!), born from my ova, and carried in my womb for a brief period before being abducted for the incubator. Again, that was never meant to happen in the timeline, and this child has suffered greatly.

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