Well, I blew my best chance yet for Ascension, but I seem to be getting there. Because of my autistic brain, I cannot avail myself of the shortcuts and aids ("red pill" and telecommunication separation of consciousness from body), as offered by some Ka Bal communities. I wouldn't put an Amon RA serpent in me, but even if I did, it would have limited effect. You see, MACHINE-RA's minions knew exactly what they were doing when they had Mary Todd place the bullet in Abe Lincoln's brain where they did. Similar, though differently located brain damage placement was done to JFK, and was attempted on retired Congresswoman Gabbie Giffords. Oh, by the way, I do not know if Gabbie is Martian born hybrid, but she certainly is bloodline interdimensional. As a matter of fact, she is one of my cousins, though we have never met (at least in the 3D world). When she and her husband Mark Kelly decided to tell the truth about NASA's intimate commingling and subservience to the evil alien (Grey/Star Cepheus) agenda, she became a traitor to "Amon RA". Of course, she never gave allegiance to that cult in the first place, but by virtue of her genetically manipulated birth, it is assumed that she "belongs" to the Amon RA cult.
Likewise, both Abe Lincoln and JFK were considered traitors to Amon RA, and by blowing out that part of the brain, it permanently (or at least for multiple incarnations) denies the consciousness the ability to attain, or relate on an interdimensional level. This is why I have interdimensional gifts and vision, but cannot see or experience them myself. Other people have to read my mind to figure out what is going on. However, now that JFK's consciousness is combined with mine, the hope is that we both can ascend, even if we share one physical being. For JFK cannot ascend with his brain damage either, and after learning more about the Fall of Atlantis tragedy, I understand why that would be such a hardship for him. You see, like myself, JFK was/is a fallen Watcher, and like myself/Abe Lincoln, more than anything else, he wants to be restored to his interdimensional home, but can never do so--at least for hundreds of years, by himself, but he can do so with me. His damaged brain/consciousness complements mine, and so the elements are in place for Ascension. Now, I just have to work through all the outside interference and inner insecurity, caused by the never ending churn of my life experiences.
Let's deal with the outside interferences first. For a while the Dog/Tall White Sirian (there are actually two dog factions, one Nordic and one Celtic--the Celts are great; the Nordics are in alliance with the reptiles on the Moon base, and are stone cold haters) faction was running the show, and they abducted me, and did more cranial manipulation to me, shaving off my jaw and leaving me in chronic facial/ear pain. I think the sobs cut my hair too. They are among the biggest proponents of forcing a feminine identity on me. Well, last night, I went on a hunting party, and lets just say, that for right now, the Dog Sirians/Tall Whites are no longer running the show. Since they are so hateful, malevolent and disrespect of human rights, this is a good thing.
So, who IS running the show? I am not sure. It is either back to Merovingian Faction 2 or the more moderate KaBal as represented by the Sirian council. Now, there are some good Sirian factions, but they represent a slight minority, and since Sirians are notoriously and rigidly fixed in their viewpoints, the KaBal often prevails through its actions. I have more respect for them, now that I know that I am a fallen Watcher, for I can understand how they would believe that I was only getting my karmic reward. I just wish that I had been told that at the beginning, for I had a dream years ago, in which a Sirian doctor doing a medical exam on me, told me that I came from the star, "Bezel" (something like that). Since my Watcher name is Bezaliel (oh so very interesting--that name has been scrubbed from the same lists of fallen angels I referred to a few days ago, and now they all refer to "Beezelbub"--I am NOT Beezelbub), I know now that the Sirian community had me pegged years ago.
I still don't know what star "Bezel" refers to, but I know that at the time of the Fall of Atlantis, I was a Black man, almost certainly a Cygnan (the "Bezel" probably refered to my name, which I misinterpreted), who was responsible for guarding the 5th stargate, I do believe (interesting--I cannot find any reference to that anymore, either). I was a military man, probably a Cygnan or "Black"/reptilian mix, who was a resident or councillor of Atlantis at the time it fell (I say that, because of my connection to the crystal skull). In the past couple of days I have learned a little more about this man, after talking with Linda (there is no more need for pseudonym--by the time, this post is over, her most painful secret will be revealed. I had offered to keep the matter private, but I can see from the web, that the interdimensional and associated community are already wise to the info, so maybe that is now why I feel her telepathically urging me to tell the whole truth).
He was a proud, hot-tempered man, who probably felt a little bit of an outsider in Atlantean community. Not only did his race and skin color set him apart (though there was not racism in Atlantis at the time), but his social mores and customs were different. Atlantis was a cosmopolitan, spiritual, erudite culture in decline, which greatly valued respect and harmony between the genders. Osiris came from a militaristic, patriarchal culture in which men were dominating, and women existed to serve their needs. However, they fell in love, and began an affair, a long lasting affair, which resulted in the only child that the Atlantean Linda birthed. My guess is that the mixed race child immediately alerted everybody in their circle as to what was going on, and life became difficult for them both. You see, Linda was married at the time to Salusa (yes, same guy that you all know from this blog), a man even more sociopathic than than her tyrannical, divorced first husband, the being I experienced as "Watcher 51445", who existed in "Loretta's" body. Getting an idea of how karma works, everybody?
To make matters more difficult, Salusa was Osiris' hierarchial superior, and being a patriarchal man, obedient to hierarchial authority, he must have found the conflict excruciating, especially, when Linda asked Osiris to confront and challenge Salusa so that they could marry. Osiris himself was married to a different woman--who incarnated into my immediate family in this lifetime--so did the child, by the way--but that is personal family business. So, when Osiris refused to stand up to Salusa, tensions developed between him and Linda (I don't know her Atlantean name). However, the biggest blow to the affair came when Osiris began having an affair with yet a second woman. In short, he was two-timing her(remember what I said about him being a male chauvinist?). Linda became angry, and in her feminine fury, started up yet another affair herself, in order to get back at Osiris. Guess who the lucky fellow was--the Atlantean, who last incarnated as JFK! Well of course, Osiris came from a culture where men cheat on women, but women never cheat on men, so his male vanity and pride was outraged and inflamed. No, I am not making this up. So far, this all sounds like fascinating Atlantean soap opera lore (see how little human reality changes--no matter what the level of consciousness?), but it gets much darker.
For all of this personal drama in intertwined with the betrayal of the civilization of Atlantis, Earth, and this entire galaxy, to maurading, ruthless reptiles. As I said in a previous post, the biggest culprit of all was Salusa, though he had help from others, including Osiris' wife, and many elements in the Dog Sirian community. Now, incredible as it may seem, these conspirators WANTED Atlantis to fall. They had already placed the Amon RA serpents in themselves and experienced the real burst of vigor and increased mental powers that it gives the host. They thought that the Amon RA reptiles would be relatively benevolent rulers, with themselves as the titular head of the new civilization. Already, Atlantis was falling into chaos and immorality. Linda herself was a Temple prostitute, placed there as a child, engaging in ritual sex. All the factions were fighting, with so many humanoids deeply scarred, and driven insane by the vampiric reptilian spiders, with which the reptiles had plastered the south (I think) of Mars. Whenever there is fractured chaos and the inability to reach consensus, it is always easy to reach for a renewed sense of order, no matter the cost--especially when the "New World Order" benefits your own meagalomaniac sense of self-entitlement. So, Salusa and leaders of the Nordic (not the Celtic) Dog Sirian faction, decided to open up the gates to the reptiles, and allow for massive destruction, so that a new era could begin.
However, they had to divert attention away from themselves, and so, to this end, they recruited patsies. The incident was to be blamed on Cat Sirians, though really only Salusa was involved. It was made to look like they were trying to get revenge on the two Mountain Goat tribes (Aries and Capricorn), who were insane with the vampire spider virus and attacking the Cats. Salusa himself, I think, was responsible for creating the Sphinx, because he literally planned the move of civilization from Atlantis to Egypt, before the Fall--much as in the same way, the current KaBal planned the destruction of the West, and a relocation of civilization to Africa.
So, who did they use? Well, Salusa is a hater. He hides it behind his charming, luciferian personality (and yes, I think he is the Lucifer as identified in the Bible). He also holds grudges for thousands of years. Even though, it had not been a positive marriage between Linda and himself, he was coldly furious at her and Osiris for the affair, so he set out to destroy them both. To that end, he duped them both into the conspiracy. I am not sure what part Osiris' wife played, but Linda helped to open the stargate(s) for which Osiris was responsible for defending, and thus allow reptilian entry. She did not know that the reptiles were on the other side waiting to come through--she had been told that her actions would be used to humiliate Osiris in the eyes of his military colleagues, and that is why she opened the gates. Linda realized the enormity of the deception, evil and gravity of her mistake almost immediately. However, she never had a chance to repent or vent the complete truth in a trial, because Osiris strangled her with his bare hands. Yes, there was sexual jealousy and frustration involved, but the overriding motive for the murder was vigilante execution for treasonous acts of the highest order, as Osiris stood by helplessly and watched reptilian invaders overrun his duty post, and blast the once proud civilization of Atlantis to bits.
Now, I was wrong to murder Linda. I still cannot fathom how someone can kill the person that they love, and watch the light go out of their eyes. Rationally speaking, had Osiris left Linda alive to stand trial, the truth would have come out, and my military honor and competency would have been upheld. However, I was passionate, hotheaded, and had a proprietary sense of women--as if I owned them and could do with them what they pleased. Linda had already injured my proprietary sense of male ownership by leaving me to engage in another affair, now she had ruined my sense of duty and career, and the civilization I called home, and so I murdered her in a shocked and dazed rage.
I am still shocked and dazed by the realization that I did it, so I am still trying to assimilate that piece of my incarnation history. I have no rage at Linda now. I understand and feel compassion regarding her actions. Still, I have a lot of heart pain and grief for what happened. Through her actions, she broke my heart with a thorough completeness and power, that most women could never hope to attain. Even as I write this, I can feel the implants around my heart, under assault--yes, the same implants, that try as I may, I cannot fully remove (the point of the implants is to deflect energy from the heart, so that one becomes hard hearted--fortunately, for me, my sense of ethos and even love, is directed mostly by my head, so the KaBal was never able to turn me into an unfeeling person by this tactic).
For that was not the end of the story for Osiris. He became the "fall guy" for the invasion, and I am sure that his own naturalized alien status and racial differences played a part in it. "Blame the Black man". What could he do--a patriarchal warrior could not say, "My woman did it", especially since his wife had an active role in the day's events as well. So, he became very bitter and misogynistic towards women, with many gay or celibate incarnations over the millennia. I suppose that I have suffered so greatly in this feminine body, so that I would develop compassion for what females endure, and that is what enables me to forgive Linda for what happened. And I have forgiven her--I just have to release this broken heart, for my sorrow at what I regard as not only personal failure and remorse at murdering her, but also professional failure at my dereliction of duty to guard my home.
Well, we both paid the price for our misdeeds, and were cast from the interdimensional realm into the dimension of duality. The Nordic Tall Whites/Dog Sirians and their controllers, the reptiles, have had a lot of fun controlling our incarnations, turning us into their go-fers for the manipulation of humanity. After a truly hellacious incarnation, where she was imprisoned by day, and a sex slave by night, Linda has managed to free herself of her karma, and has reentered the interdimensional world. However, as with most originating 3D humans and hybrids, she is a virtual slave, there. Still, I know that she would choose her restored consciousness over her 3D reality, no matter how controlled and confined her environment. I am trying to get to the interdimensional realm, but as I said earlier, I did not succeed today, even though, the opportunity was there. I think that I still have this broken heart to work on.
It is not only the broken heart of a man, grievously wounded by his lover, but also a man of honor who gave his all to protect the world that he assumed as a naturalized home, and for which he was made to be a fall guy, and cast out into a terrible exile, for his failure. During the Ascension attempt today, I kept seeing pictures of a "lone wolf"--the being who has learned that he can trust nobody to support him, who keeps giving his all, even though it is unappreciated, while he is regarded with suspicion and distrust by all he encounters (Yeh, there goes that Black man, again...do you see now, why my interdimensional identity needs to be Black?). You know, writing that statement puts my heart under assault again. I truly do have a broken heart, that I have given so much over the past half dozen years, and have gotten such little support in return.
I know that I ran out that karmic identity as a lone wolf a while back, just as I did my cowboy identity. Having kids will do that to you. As a matter of fact, my current animal icon is that of a tiger, and I really mean that. I do not identify with the lone wolf anymore at all. Yet, I still have to move past this broken heart, and really, there is no one to blame, but myself. I am not mad at Linda for something she did 12,000 years ago, especially when I understand why she did what she did, and how duped she was. She has paid her karmic penalty and earned her 3D freedom, and I know that involved terrible pain at her own actions in this life. So now, it is my turn. I have said it before, "Women set the evolutionary curve". Thank God for women, because I don't think I could do it if she had not already done it...