Lucky for me, this software saves drafts of my posts as I write, because the freemasons (yep, I can spot them easily now) sitting behind me, wiped out my entire post as I wrote it. I have edited it a little, and added some more this morning (Whew! I thought that I was going to have to spend an hour or two reconstructing the whole post). So below is the post that contains the information that the freemasons were terrified of the world knowing, and intensely hostile to me, for sharing...
The room is shaking once again, and I just caught very definite hostile vibes from a freemason White man, who just stalked in and sat behind me. Murderously hostile--and I don't scare easily. It was not the first time tonight, but the level of hostility has definitely picked up, and I could very welll be murdered right here in this room, tonight, but I am not going to bed until I clear my conscience, and if I die, doing so, then at least Almighty God will know that my intentions are pure.
So getting back to the story--Osiris made a deal with the Red Dragons from Algol, in order to fight the Draconian reptiles, and this involved occult power. It is interesting that I kept seeing myself as a wolf during the Ascension attempt the other day, because according to this occult tradition, you call on demonic powers through sound, similar to howling. I am sure Osiris was a "lone wolf" Jedi by this time, and that would have been an appropriate venue for him. (I feel the pain attacking my heart implants again--Osiris was a deeply wounded, lonely and pained man at this point).
A couple of nights ago, I dreamed of ancient occult texts, and I now know that these refer to the ancient occult tradition that has passed on from Osiris, through the mystery schools of Babylon, Chaldea, Persia and the Jewish nation. There is a positive Jewish Qabal tradition, but this "Way of the Chariot" is very dark and satanic, which probably is why the Jewish teachers spent centuries protecting and obscuring the tradition. The Jewish element is important in my story, because King David, was placed under a powerful, crippling curse by these negative "Merkabah mystics" (probably from Syria, or actually Tyre and Sidon as it was called at the time). Remember, one of my incarnations was/is King David, and so I have been seriously handicapped by the occult curse placed on me in that Biblical incarnation--a curse brought into the world by an even earlier incarnation--that of Osiris. The curse was placed on the spirit or consciousness of the dead (interdimensional) King David by his son, King Solomon, who was a fallen apostate, who worked to trap spirits to serve him, and he had no qualms or compunction about doing that to his own father, whose consciousness, remember, was much wider than David's, but was that of the fallen Watcher, Osiris, who was the founder of Middle East satanic magic. A powerful consciousness to trap indeed, and I have been somewhat confined by the cosmic evil powers since the time of King Solomon. They cannot control me, but neither have I been able to totally break free.
I broke the curse today. I had asked at the front desk where I could get my hair cut, and they referred me to the fifth floor at the hotel across the street. Now, going to different floors in interdimensional hotels is very tricky business. It is like prison, with all the gangs marking their territory, and I wondered, "well, who is on the fifth floor?". Now, I know--it is the interdimensional Jews--and almost certainly, the dark side, interdimensional Jews. By crossing into their "territory", I broke their magic circle of protection, which they have used to control me, since I was incarnated as King David. I think this is having serious and positive repercussions, which I might go into when I have times...right now, I must clear my conscience.
For it was Osiris, who brought this dark side mysticism, this KaBal occult tradition of the Red Dragon, first to the Middle East mystery schools, and then later the south of Germany (Bavaria, etc) and south of France. The Knights Templar stole the dark side KaBal material from King Solomon's stables, and took it to Europe. In another incarnation, that of Jacque de Molay, I wrote the Voynich manuscript. That was not the worst I did though. With my usual competency, I ensured that this dark occult tradition would survive by exporting it to Scotland. Freemasonry has power in the USA today, because de Molay ensured its survival. I don't get much flak from this incarnation because de Molay endured horrible torture and death.
Another incarnation that I have recognized as belonging to this dark occult tradition of the Red Dragon KaBal is of a medieval Jewish rabbi, Antonio the Venetian. He wrote a book called "The Red Dragon", in which he explains how to make a pact with the devil, which contemporaries of the time then used. Especially sickening was to learn that Dr. Faustus was a real person and pedophile, who used his occult power to ritualistically abuse little children in black magic rituals. As much as I suffered from Satanism as a child, it pains me to no end to think that I, in any way, encouraged or facilitated the abuse of children by satanic acts.
A final incarnation that I should mention--don't know why I never did, since she is one of the earliest prior incarnations that I identified--is that of Elizabeth I of England (just got a chuckle--Mary, Queen of the Scots was probably Linda). Now, it is common knowledge that John Dee and Francis Bacon used major occult techniques to serve the Queen. I will go so far as to say that I think the occult is the reason that England was able to defeat the Spanish Armada. For those who no longer know the basic outlines of history, the English throne to which Elizabeth ascended was weak, vulnerable and broke. The Spanish were the most powerful nation on Earth at the time, and they set out to conquer England, and they SHOULD have, but a storm wrecked their Armada at sea. I think Elizabeth I made a deal with "the devil" to win a battle which almost certainly would have been lost (and Spanish would be my first language, instead of my second). I think she offered that she and all her progeny would serve the reptilian overlords should they come to her aid. Elizabeth thought she was being smart. She was a hermaphrodite, and knew that she could not carry children...which probably was why she never married. However, you cannot fool the devil. To Satan's mind, her "progeny" was every sucessor who has sat on the English throne since, and even though her action may have saved a nation, the English monarchs have paid a terrible price in the curse enacted on them. It is deeply gratifying to see that Elizabeth II and her family have broken this curse, and it is my hope that no monarch, no head of state, no country, ever again fall under the curse which befalls those who have made a pact with Satan (whether it is "Red Dragon", Draconian or the vampire spiders of Orion).
Addendum added this morning:
More bad dreams--God, will these negative memorie ever end? I had a memory of being bitten by a satanic vampire as a child. Now, this was not a dream. The woman that did this to me was truly a vampire, and belonged to a family of satanic vampires with whom my family hobnobbed. I can still see their pale, bloodless faces. Anyway, she came into my bed at night, and bit me on the extreme upper cervical spine. Then she sexually abused me, once again, with anal penetration, by the fingers. Now, I would have been under five when this happened, so I guess the vampire bite was not fatal--it just left a lingering poison in my psyche, which continues to attract vampires to me, even though, I am thoroughly and completely repulsed by them.
However, I cannot complain as an innocent victim, for I helped bring in this satanic magic and ritual abuse of children into the world. The most important task before me now is to break free of it. For not all of Osiris' knowledge is evil. Apparently he was very much into using frequencies and sounds to contact and control the etheric and interdimensional world. His "sin" was in trying to control the universe to do his will, which is a grievous mistake. I myself, am now very proficient at understanding the frequencies of the cosmos, and have used my knowledge to help the Patrriots locate and disable hostile forces, both sentient and MACHINE (I suppose an argument could be made that the MACHINE is sentient). However, I have never used it for personal gain or vengeance. Indeed, I have saved the lives of both Salusa and Watcher/Loretta more than once.
That is a virtue that Osiris lost, along with his heart, when he murdered Linda. He became obsessed with vengeance and the attainment of power, and it was for this, that he lost his interdimensional power--probably at the judgment of his cosmic peers. It is really sad for me to think on this ruined life, because really, there is a "White Magic" available to higher consciousnesses--such as my own current ability to decode interstellar frequencies. As a matter of fact that is what the "Star Wars" movies with their romanticized version (remember the KaBal controls filmakers) of the Jedhi was all about.
I know that many Christians are leery of "White Magic", and I understand that. I have known too many demonically afflicted and satanic persons who claim that they practice "White Magic". The Christians and the great world traditions have got it right--the prerequisite for any action is Magic, but Love. This is where I am crippled, because the heavy (remember, I spent centuries in that incarnation) burden of Osiris' hatred and bitterness weighs down my consciousness. I try to let it go. Another realization that I had while watching the above-referenced video, was how deeply misogynistic Osiris really became after the Fall of Atlantis, and how his spiritual and writing gifts were able to negatively impact the entire trajectory of gender relations in the post Atlantis world.
I don’t think that Osiris was directly involved in the sexual abuse of female sex slaves himself, but the spirituality that he founded relied on the control, domination, use, and even enslaving abuse of others, and so the framework for the misogynism to escalate was inherent in this “Merkavah mysticism”. I saw a video still of an abused sex slave while watching this video. You can spot them by the neck slave collar and or tattoos that they wear. Her breast and nipple had been mutilated and removed. I think the same thing happened to Linda. Just as I was ritualistically castrated at Bohemian Grove, I think she was forcibly masectomized as part of a ritualized sex slavery act. You can imagine how distressing I find that, especially since I have picked up on the emotional pain that she has about her breasts.
Sometimes, I feel handicapped, because while I am so good at explaining things, I find it so difficult to convey the depth of my emotions, and that is what is happening, now. I have no words to describe how sick I feel about all the pain that I helped to bring into the world, and facilitate the depth of horror experienced by the person I love most. I know that Osiris is still deeply wounded, and it is his/mine own guilt that will not let Ascension take place. How can Linda really want me, after all this? Yet the alternative is unacceptable—I cannot continue to feed these negative occult KaBalists in any way, shape or form. I must bring forth the repressed Love deep within me…and soon.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Strange things and evil vibes going on
Strange things and evil vibes going on--I just lost an entire post. I hope I have written enough to clear my conscience. I will elaborate tomorrow. In the meantime, let me reiterate--I brought the "RedDragon" occult tradition to this planet, and I am truly sorry with every fiber in my being. They are enemies of humanity, and both myself and Linda have suffered terribly at their hands--not to mention how many millions of people.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Writing on darker matters before going to bed
Writing on darker matters before going to bed, so that I don't have this negative influence/karma history hanging over me, so that the KaBal can attack me in my sleep, as they did last nite, as they have done so many other nights. I literally could not wake up this morning, as I was under some kind of magic spell, very similar to the one I experienced when Linda was coerced into sex at Cartagena, for fear of both our lives. Magic is a huge part of the KaBal's power over us, and I sure felt it this morning. I also had dream interference--two lesbians were in my dream, but you know, I am getting better and more powerful, with everything I learn about myself. Even in my dream, I knew that I had NOT generated those lesbian figures, but rather that they were alien interlopers in my unconscious, placed there by an outside force--manipulating once again my neurons or brain switches. Of course, once I woke up and felt my ultra-soft baby body and barely had the energy to move, I knew why I was dreaming of lesbians--major estrogen overdose again; actually, I am being force fed the hormones that pregnant women have, but the point and objective is the same--to make me weak and barely functional.
Once, I got up, I had a hard time waking up, and kept dozing off or spacing out, until finally I went and got my hair cut, which I had been meaning to do, every since the damned Nordic Dog Sirians cut my hair once again in my sleep, in order to feminize me.
I know now why it is so important for both Faction 1 and Faction 2 to feminize me. All along they have known who I am--an ancient enemy who gave them major grief in the past, and who will either become their "AntiChrist" patsy for the New World Order, or a prominent victor at their defeat. I intend for it to be the latter--they are doing everything they can to make it the former.
When I say that they mean for me to be an anti-Christ, I mean it with complete and absolute sincerity. As a matter of fact, I watched a video that showed a Baphoment with a round, pregnant belly, and strange, unnatural boobs--not placed normally as on a female chest, but rather like mine, protruding outward over a mutilated torso. Oh yes, the KaBal motherfuckers actually think I am going to be a female Baphomet for them. Oh no, no matter what any of the KaBal factions do to me, I will not serve them in any way, shape, form or fashion. They can make me miserable, they can torture me, they can feed off my vibes like the boy babies sucking mama-teatthat they are, but I will not serve.
However, I learned today, why they THINK that I will serve their evil agenda--I have done it in the past.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2sVRmRdWf8&feature=youtu.be
Now, a word of caution about this video. I watched a video by this same guy a couple of years ago, and determined that he actually was a Satanist himself. I could be wrong, and I no longer have time to vet things, so just take the information that is helpful, but just remember the source may be highly suspect. Certainly, it helped me understand a lot more negative incarnations.
So, let me continue with the tragic saga of Osiris. Unfortunately, he did not fall from interdimensional status because he murdered his lover in a crime of passion and grief. No, he devolved, and became a much more evil character. In short, he went to the "Dark Side". As a matter of fact, I had picked up that Faction 2 programmers were putting it out on the web, casting me as a "Darth Vader", a man whose anger and rebellion led him to serve evil, after he became "more machine than man". Well, I certainly am more machine than man, now, with all kind of artificial and hologram parts to house my consciousness. I even have had RA's camera installed in the part of my brain, damaged during my Abe Lincoln incarnation, and appearing in my subsequent incarnations as autism.
I really feel for Osiris. I see him very much a man like myself--basically a great and virtuous soul, who just can't seem to win for losing. Like me, he is a hypermasculine man, who desperately needs the feminine to help soften and humanize him, and mirror him back to himself, so that he understands his own feelings. When he murdered Linda, he lost that connection with the feminine, and when that happened, he lost his "feeling function", and with that, he lost the ability to relate to others. So, when his proud, warrior nature was humiliated and challenged, because it was his duty station that let in the reptiles, he took it personally, and became angrier and more bitter.
Even though he was to stay on as a warrior for quite a while longer, this episode scarred him forever, making it difficult for him to relate to others, and so he became somewhat of a loner and outcast. As a matter of fact, he became a "Jedi knight", so to speak. In ancient Egypt, you will read of the city of Djed, and of ancient battles. Osiris fought hard to regain his honor, but without the feminine to counterbalance him, he was doomed. As a matter of fact, I believe that he did indeed become celibate, and forced celibacy on his subordinates, and while like most celibates, that never worked out very well (he met and fell in love with a subsequent incarnation of Linda as a prostitute, and murdered her for a second time!), it was the cusp of a new age on Earth--one in which the feminine was completely dominated and degraded.
I believe that he engaged in guerilla warfare, eventually dislocating Salusa from Egypt into Babylon, but he could never win, because he could never get the allies that he needed, because of his abrasive and undiplomatic personal style. So, the Jedi became a weaker and weaker force, until they were lost altogether.
I suspect that Osiris turned to the spiritual dark side while still an interdimensional warrior and Jedi, pretty much a pirate and free lancer, who had very few friends, but who fought his enemies, the reptiles who had destroyed Atlantis, with heart and soul. Of course, he was an interdimensional cosmopolitan, and so he knew a lot about the universe that we 3D humans are barely just beginning to glimpse.
First of all, let me talk about the reptile order that he would have known. The reptiles were already besieging this galaxy even before the Fall of Atlantis, and Osiris would have known who they were. First of all, there were the White Dragons from Nibiru, who are now extinct, because the Patriots took out their planet in the late 2010. The White Dragons are important for their genetic contribution to the Asian/Mongoloid/Jewish race--powerful psychics. Then there are the reptiles from Orion. These are the vampiric reptiles. They are extremely pale white and blue blooded, because they have been afflicted with the spider vampire virus. The were the ones who turned the Goat and vampire tribes of Sirius into a twisted, tortured version of humanity. They bombed their residence on Mars with the spiders, and drove the exilics insane with the spiders, while the northern Sirians did nothing to help, but who actually sold them out. The Orionites also were the ones who seeded the moon with the vampire spiders and our oceans with weaker versions of the spiders.
The reptiles which attacked Atlantis were the Draconians from Draco--tall, walking, greenish brown lizards (the Orionites are winged). However, there is a fourth reptilian race, which has been pretty much kept secret--the red Dragon reptiles from the planet Algol. Yes, this is the red Dragon which Faction 2, and I believe Scotland, or maybe Wales, has on their national flag. You see, even though, ultimately, the reptiles will ALWAYS ally with each other against the humans, there is a difference in how they control and manipulate the Earth. Thus the vampiric Orionites and Draconians are more identified with what we call Faction 1, while the followers of the Red Dragon and White Dragon (now extinct) are identified with Faction 2.
Now, the Draconians, who conquer through the Amon RA serpentine symbiotic predators, were Osiris' fiercest enemies. It was a matter of personal honor to him that he destroy the enemy which had destroyed his reputation, home, and love of his life. But he had no allies or friends, since basically the remaining defenders of Atlantis regarded him as an outcast. So, he made an alliance with a reptile faction himself--the Red Dragons from Algol, and he used the weapons that they offered--occult knowledge and power, that we know as satanism. This is also the legacy honored by dark (evil) Jewish KaBalists (not Qabbalists), Faction 2 Knights Templar and Nazis, and the NWO minions that assassinated Kennedy and have been running this country and this world, from behind the scenes through high level secret societies such as freemasonry and Bohemian Grove.
Once, I got up, I had a hard time waking up, and kept dozing off or spacing out, until finally I went and got my hair cut, which I had been meaning to do, every since the damned Nordic Dog Sirians cut my hair once again in my sleep, in order to feminize me.
I know now why it is so important for both Faction 1 and Faction 2 to feminize me. All along they have known who I am--an ancient enemy who gave them major grief in the past, and who will either become their "AntiChrist" patsy for the New World Order, or a prominent victor at their defeat. I intend for it to be the latter--they are doing everything they can to make it the former.
When I say that they mean for me to be an anti-Christ, I mean it with complete and absolute sincerity. As a matter of fact, I watched a video that showed a Baphoment with a round, pregnant belly, and strange, unnatural boobs--not placed normally as on a female chest, but rather like mine, protruding outward over a mutilated torso. Oh yes, the KaBal motherfuckers actually think I am going to be a female Baphomet for them. Oh no, no matter what any of the KaBal factions do to me, I will not serve them in any way, shape, form or fashion. They can make me miserable, they can torture me, they can feed off my vibes like the boy babies sucking mama-teatthat they are, but I will not serve.
However, I learned today, why they THINK that I will serve their evil agenda--I have done it in the past.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2sVRmRdWf8&feature=youtu.be
Now, a word of caution about this video. I watched a video by this same guy a couple of years ago, and determined that he actually was a Satanist himself. I could be wrong, and I no longer have time to vet things, so just take the information that is helpful, but just remember the source may be highly suspect. Certainly, it helped me understand a lot more negative incarnations.
So, let me continue with the tragic saga of Osiris. Unfortunately, he did not fall from interdimensional status because he murdered his lover in a crime of passion and grief. No, he devolved, and became a much more evil character. In short, he went to the "Dark Side". As a matter of fact, I had picked up that Faction 2 programmers were putting it out on the web, casting me as a "Darth Vader", a man whose anger and rebellion led him to serve evil, after he became "more machine than man". Well, I certainly am more machine than man, now, with all kind of artificial and hologram parts to house my consciousness. I even have had RA's camera installed in the part of my brain, damaged during my Abe Lincoln incarnation, and appearing in my subsequent incarnations as autism.
I really feel for Osiris. I see him very much a man like myself--basically a great and virtuous soul, who just can't seem to win for losing. Like me, he is a hypermasculine man, who desperately needs the feminine to help soften and humanize him, and mirror him back to himself, so that he understands his own feelings. When he murdered Linda, he lost that connection with the feminine, and when that happened, he lost his "feeling function", and with that, he lost the ability to relate to others. So, when his proud, warrior nature was humiliated and challenged, because it was his duty station that let in the reptiles, he took it personally, and became angrier and more bitter.
Even though he was to stay on as a warrior for quite a while longer, this episode scarred him forever, making it difficult for him to relate to others, and so he became somewhat of a loner and outcast. As a matter of fact, he became a "Jedi knight", so to speak. In ancient Egypt, you will read of the city of Djed, and of ancient battles. Osiris fought hard to regain his honor, but without the feminine to counterbalance him, he was doomed. As a matter of fact, I believe that he did indeed become celibate, and forced celibacy on his subordinates, and while like most celibates, that never worked out very well (he met and fell in love with a subsequent incarnation of Linda as a prostitute, and murdered her for a second time!), it was the cusp of a new age on Earth--one in which the feminine was completely dominated and degraded.
I believe that he engaged in guerilla warfare, eventually dislocating Salusa from Egypt into Babylon, but he could never win, because he could never get the allies that he needed, because of his abrasive and undiplomatic personal style. So, the Jedi became a weaker and weaker force, until they were lost altogether.
I suspect that Osiris turned to the spiritual dark side while still an interdimensional warrior and Jedi, pretty much a pirate and free lancer, who had very few friends, but who fought his enemies, the reptiles who had destroyed Atlantis, with heart and soul. Of course, he was an interdimensional cosmopolitan, and so he knew a lot about the universe that we 3D humans are barely just beginning to glimpse.
First of all, let me talk about the reptile order that he would have known. The reptiles were already besieging this galaxy even before the Fall of Atlantis, and Osiris would have known who they were. First of all, there were the White Dragons from Nibiru, who are now extinct, because the Patriots took out their planet in the late 2010. The White Dragons are important for their genetic contribution to the Asian/Mongoloid/Jewish race--powerful psychics. Then there are the reptiles from Orion. These are the vampiric reptiles. They are extremely pale white and blue blooded, because they have been afflicted with the spider vampire virus. The were the ones who turned the Goat and vampire tribes of Sirius into a twisted, tortured version of humanity. They bombed their residence on Mars with the spiders, and drove the exilics insane with the spiders, while the northern Sirians did nothing to help, but who actually sold them out. The Orionites also were the ones who seeded the moon with the vampire spiders and our oceans with weaker versions of the spiders.
The reptiles which attacked Atlantis were the Draconians from Draco--tall, walking, greenish brown lizards (the Orionites are winged). However, there is a fourth reptilian race, which has been pretty much kept secret--the red Dragon reptiles from the planet Algol. Yes, this is the red Dragon which Faction 2, and I believe Scotland, or maybe Wales, has on their national flag. You see, even though, ultimately, the reptiles will ALWAYS ally with each other against the humans, there is a difference in how they control and manipulate the Earth. Thus the vampiric Orionites and Draconians are more identified with what we call Faction 1, while the followers of the Red Dragon and White Dragon (now extinct) are identified with Faction 2.
Now, the Draconians, who conquer through the Amon RA serpentine symbiotic predators, were Osiris' fiercest enemies. It was a matter of personal honor to him that he destroy the enemy which had destroyed his reputation, home, and love of his life. But he had no allies or friends, since basically the remaining defenders of Atlantis regarded him as an outcast. So, he made an alliance with a reptile faction himself--the Red Dragons from Algol, and he used the weapons that they offered--occult knowledge and power, that we know as satanism. This is also the legacy honored by dark (evil) Jewish KaBalists (not Qabbalists), Faction 2 Knights Templar and Nazis, and the NWO minions that assassinated Kennedy and have been running this country and this world, from behind the scenes through high level secret societies such as freemasonry and Bohemian Grove.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Well, I blew my best chance yet for Ascension
Well, I blew my best chance yet for Ascension, but I seem to be getting there. Because of my autistic brain, I cannot avail myself of the shortcuts and aids ("red pill" and telecommunication separation of consciousness from body), as offered by some Ka Bal communities. I wouldn't put an Amon RA serpent in me, but even if I did, it would have limited effect. You see, MACHINE-RA's minions knew exactly what they were doing when they had Mary Todd place the bullet in Abe Lincoln's brain where they did. Similar, though differently located brain damage placement was done to JFK, and was attempted on retired Congresswoman Gabbie Giffords. Oh, by the way, I do not know if Gabbie is Martian born hybrid, but she certainly is bloodline interdimensional. As a matter of fact, she is one of my cousins, though we have never met (at least in the 3D world). When she and her husband Mark Kelly decided to tell the truth about NASA's intimate commingling and subservience to the evil alien (Grey/Star Cepheus) agenda, she became a traitor to "Amon RA". Of course, she never gave allegiance to that cult in the first place, but by virtue of her genetically manipulated birth, it is assumed that she "belongs" to the Amon RA cult.
Likewise, both Abe Lincoln and JFK were considered traitors to Amon RA, and by blowing out that part of the brain, it permanently (or at least for multiple incarnations) denies the consciousness the ability to attain, or relate on an interdimensional level. This is why I have interdimensional gifts and vision, but cannot see or experience them myself. Other people have to read my mind to figure out what is going on. However, now that JFK's consciousness is combined with mine, the hope is that we both can ascend, even if we share one physical being. For JFK cannot ascend with his brain damage either, and after learning more about the Fall of Atlantis tragedy, I understand why that would be such a hardship for him. You see, like myself, JFK was/is a fallen Watcher, and like myself/Abe Lincoln, more than anything else, he wants to be restored to his interdimensional home, but can never do so--at least for hundreds of years, by himself, but he can do so with me. His damaged brain/consciousness complements mine, and so the elements are in place for Ascension. Now, I just have to work through all the outside interference and inner insecurity, caused by the never ending churn of my life experiences.
Let's deal with the outside interferences first. For a while the Dog/Tall White Sirian (there are actually two dog factions, one Nordic and one Celtic--the Celts are great; the Nordics are in alliance with the reptiles on the Moon base, and are stone cold haters) faction was running the show, and they abducted me, and did more cranial manipulation to me, shaving off my jaw and leaving me in chronic facial/ear pain. I think the sobs cut my hair too. They are among the biggest proponents of forcing a feminine identity on me. Well, last night, I went on a hunting party, and lets just say, that for right now, the Dog Sirians/Tall Whites are no longer running the show. Since they are so hateful, malevolent and disrespect of human rights, this is a good thing.
So, who IS running the show? I am not sure. It is either back to Merovingian Faction 2 or the more moderate KaBal as represented by the Sirian council. Now, there are some good Sirian factions, but they represent a slight minority, and since Sirians are notoriously and rigidly fixed in their viewpoints, the KaBal often prevails through its actions. I have more respect for them, now that I know that I am a fallen Watcher, for I can understand how they would believe that I was only getting my karmic reward. I just wish that I had been told that at the beginning, for I had a dream years ago, in which a Sirian doctor doing a medical exam on me, told me that I came from the star, "Bezel" (something like that). Since my Watcher name is Bezaliel (oh so very interesting--that name has been scrubbed from the same lists of fallen angels I referred to a few days ago, and now they all refer to "Beezelbub"--I am NOT Beezelbub), I know now that the Sirian community had me pegged years ago.
I still don't know what star "Bezel" refers to, but I know that at the time of the Fall of Atlantis, I was a Black man, almost certainly a Cygnan (the "Bezel" probably refered to my name, which I misinterpreted), who was responsible for guarding the 5th stargate, I do believe (interesting--I cannot find any reference to that anymore, either). I was a military man, probably a Cygnan or "Black"/reptilian mix, who was a resident or councillor of Atlantis at the time it fell (I say that, because of my connection to the crystal skull). In the past couple of days I have learned a little more about this man, after talking with Linda (there is no more need for pseudonym--by the time, this post is over, her most painful secret will be revealed. I had offered to keep the matter private, but I can see from the web, that the interdimensional and associated community are already wise to the info, so maybe that is now why I feel her telepathically urging me to tell the whole truth).
He was a proud, hot-tempered man, who probably felt a little bit of an outsider in Atlantean community. Not only did his race and skin color set him apart (though there was not racism in Atlantis at the time), but his social mores and customs were different. Atlantis was a cosmopolitan, spiritual, erudite culture in decline, which greatly valued respect and harmony between the genders. Osiris came from a militaristic, patriarchal culture in which men were dominating, and women existed to serve their needs. However, they fell in love, and began an affair, a long lasting affair, which resulted in the only child that the Atlantean Linda birthed. My guess is that the mixed race child immediately alerted everybody in their circle as to what was going on, and life became difficult for them both. You see, Linda was married at the time to Salusa (yes, same guy that you all know from this blog), a man even more sociopathic than than her tyrannical, divorced first husband, the being I experienced as "Watcher 51445", who existed in "Loretta's" body. Getting an idea of how karma works, everybody?
To make matters more difficult, Salusa was Osiris' hierarchial superior, and being a patriarchal man, obedient to hierarchial authority, he must have found the conflict excruciating, especially, when Linda asked Osiris to confront and challenge Salusa so that they could marry. Osiris himself was married to a different woman--who incarnated into my immediate family in this lifetime--so did the child, by the way--but that is personal family business. So, when Osiris refused to stand up to Salusa, tensions developed between him and Linda (I don't know her Atlantean name). However, the biggest blow to the affair came when Osiris began having an affair with yet a second woman. In short, he was two-timing her(remember what I said about him being a male chauvinist?). Linda became angry, and in her feminine fury, started up yet another affair herself, in order to get back at Osiris. Guess who the lucky fellow was--the Atlantean, who last incarnated as JFK! Well of course, Osiris came from a culture where men cheat on women, but women never cheat on men, so his male vanity and pride was outraged and inflamed. No, I am not making this up. So far, this all sounds like fascinating Atlantean soap opera lore (see how little human reality changes--no matter what the level of consciousness?), but it gets much darker.
For all of this personal drama in intertwined with the betrayal of the civilization of Atlantis, Earth, and this entire galaxy, to maurading, ruthless reptiles. As I said in a previous post, the biggest culprit of all was Salusa, though he had help from others, including Osiris' wife, and many elements in the Dog Sirian community. Now, incredible as it may seem, these conspirators WANTED Atlantis to fall. They had already placed the Amon RA serpents in themselves and experienced the real burst of vigor and increased mental powers that it gives the host. They thought that the Amon RA reptiles would be relatively benevolent rulers, with themselves as the titular head of the new civilization. Already, Atlantis was falling into chaos and immorality. Linda herself was a Temple prostitute, placed there as a child, engaging in ritual sex. All the factions were fighting, with so many humanoids deeply scarred, and driven insane by the vampiric reptilian spiders, with which the reptiles had plastered the south (I think) of Mars. Whenever there is fractured chaos and the inability to reach consensus, it is always easy to reach for a renewed sense of order, no matter the cost--especially when the "New World Order" benefits your own meagalomaniac sense of self-entitlement. So, Salusa and leaders of the Nordic (not the Celtic) Dog Sirian faction, decided to open up the gates to the reptiles, and allow for massive destruction, so that a new era could begin.
However, they had to divert attention away from themselves, and so, to this end, they recruited patsies. The incident was to be blamed on Cat Sirians, though really only Salusa was involved. It was made to look like they were trying to get revenge on the two Mountain Goat tribes (Aries and Capricorn), who were insane with the vampire spider virus and attacking the Cats. Salusa himself, I think, was responsible for creating the Sphinx, because he literally planned the move of civilization from Atlantis to Egypt, before the Fall--much as in the same way, the current KaBal planned the destruction of the West, and a relocation of civilization to Africa.
So, who did they use? Well, Salusa is a hater. He hides it behind his charming, luciferian personality (and yes, I think he is the Lucifer as identified in the Bible). He also holds grudges for thousands of years. Even though, it had not been a positive marriage between Linda and himself, he was coldly furious at her and Osiris for the affair, so he set out to destroy them both. To that end, he duped them both into the conspiracy. I am not sure what part Osiris' wife played, but Linda helped to open the stargate(s) for which Osiris was responsible for defending, and thus allow reptilian entry. She did not know that the reptiles were on the other side waiting to come through--she had been told that her actions would be used to humiliate Osiris in the eyes of his military colleagues, and that is why she opened the gates. Linda realized the enormity of the deception, evil and gravity of her mistake almost immediately. However, she never had a chance to repent or vent the complete truth in a trial, because Osiris strangled her with his bare hands. Yes, there was sexual jealousy and frustration involved, but the overriding motive for the murder was vigilante execution for treasonous acts of the highest order, as Osiris stood by helplessly and watched reptilian invaders overrun his duty post, and blast the once proud civilization of Atlantis to bits.
Now, I was wrong to murder Linda. I still cannot fathom how someone can kill the person that they love, and watch the light go out of their eyes. Rationally speaking, had Osiris left Linda alive to stand trial, the truth would have come out, and my military honor and competency would have been upheld. However, I was passionate, hotheaded, and had a proprietary sense of women--as if I owned them and could do with them what they pleased. Linda had already injured my proprietary sense of male ownership by leaving me to engage in another affair, now she had ruined my sense of duty and career, and the civilization I called home, and so I murdered her in a shocked and dazed rage.
I am still shocked and dazed by the realization that I did it, so I am still trying to assimilate that piece of my incarnation history. I have no rage at Linda now. I understand and feel compassion regarding her actions. Still, I have a lot of heart pain and grief for what happened. Through her actions, she broke my heart with a thorough completeness and power, that most women could never hope to attain. Even as I write this, I can feel the implants around my heart, under assault--yes, the same implants, that try as I may, I cannot fully remove (the point of the implants is to deflect energy from the heart, so that one becomes hard hearted--fortunately, for me, my sense of ethos and even love, is directed mostly by my head, so the KaBal was never able to turn me into an unfeeling person by this tactic).
For that was not the end of the story for Osiris. He became the "fall guy" for the invasion, and I am sure that his own naturalized alien status and racial differences played a part in it. "Blame the Black man". What could he do--a patriarchal warrior could not say, "My woman did it", especially since his wife had an active role in the day's events as well. So, he became very bitter and misogynistic towards women, with many gay or celibate incarnations over the millennia. I suppose that I have suffered so greatly in this feminine body, so that I would develop compassion for what females endure, and that is what enables me to forgive Linda for what happened. And I have forgiven her--I just have to release this broken heart, for my sorrow at what I regard as not only personal failure and remorse at murdering her, but also professional failure at my dereliction of duty to guard my home.
Well, we both paid the price for our misdeeds, and were cast from the interdimensional realm into the dimension of duality. The Nordic Tall Whites/Dog Sirians and their controllers, the reptiles, have had a lot of fun controlling our incarnations, turning us into their go-fers for the manipulation of humanity. After a truly hellacious incarnation, where she was imprisoned by day, and a sex slave by night, Linda has managed to free herself of her karma, and has reentered the interdimensional world. However, as with most originating 3D humans and hybrids, she is a virtual slave, there. Still, I know that she would choose her restored consciousness over her 3D reality, no matter how controlled and confined her environment. I am trying to get to the interdimensional realm, but as I said earlier, I did not succeed today, even though, the opportunity was there. I think that I still have this broken heart to work on.
It is not only the broken heart of a man, grievously wounded by his lover, but also a man of honor who gave his all to protect the world that he assumed as a naturalized home, and for which he was made to be a fall guy, and cast out into a terrible exile, for his failure. During the Ascension attempt today, I kept seeing pictures of a "lone wolf"--the being who has learned that he can trust nobody to support him, who keeps giving his all, even though it is unappreciated, while he is regarded with suspicion and distrust by all he encounters (Yeh, there goes that Black man, again...do you see now, why my interdimensional identity needs to be Black?). You know, writing that statement puts my heart under assault again. I truly do have a broken heart, that I have given so much over the past half dozen years, and have gotten such little support in return.
I know that I ran out that karmic identity as a lone wolf a while back, just as I did my cowboy identity. Having kids will do that to you. As a matter of fact, my current animal icon is that of a tiger, and I really mean that. I do not identify with the lone wolf anymore at all. Yet, I still have to move past this broken heart, and really, there is no one to blame, but myself. I am not mad at Linda for something she did 12,000 years ago, especially when I understand why she did what she did, and how duped she was. She has paid her karmic penalty and earned her 3D freedom, and I know that involved terrible pain at her own actions in this life. So now, it is my turn. I have said it before, "Women set the evolutionary curve". Thank God for women, because I don't think I could do it if she had not already done it...
Likewise, both Abe Lincoln and JFK were considered traitors to Amon RA, and by blowing out that part of the brain, it permanently (or at least for multiple incarnations) denies the consciousness the ability to attain, or relate on an interdimensional level. This is why I have interdimensional gifts and vision, but cannot see or experience them myself. Other people have to read my mind to figure out what is going on. However, now that JFK's consciousness is combined with mine, the hope is that we both can ascend, even if we share one physical being. For JFK cannot ascend with his brain damage either, and after learning more about the Fall of Atlantis tragedy, I understand why that would be such a hardship for him. You see, like myself, JFK was/is a fallen Watcher, and like myself/Abe Lincoln, more than anything else, he wants to be restored to his interdimensional home, but can never do so--at least for hundreds of years, by himself, but he can do so with me. His damaged brain/consciousness complements mine, and so the elements are in place for Ascension. Now, I just have to work through all the outside interference and inner insecurity, caused by the never ending churn of my life experiences.
Let's deal with the outside interferences first. For a while the Dog/Tall White Sirian (there are actually two dog factions, one Nordic and one Celtic--the Celts are great; the Nordics are in alliance with the reptiles on the Moon base, and are stone cold haters) faction was running the show, and they abducted me, and did more cranial manipulation to me, shaving off my jaw and leaving me in chronic facial/ear pain. I think the sobs cut my hair too. They are among the biggest proponents of forcing a feminine identity on me. Well, last night, I went on a hunting party, and lets just say, that for right now, the Dog Sirians/Tall Whites are no longer running the show. Since they are so hateful, malevolent and disrespect of human rights, this is a good thing.
So, who IS running the show? I am not sure. It is either back to Merovingian Faction 2 or the more moderate KaBal as represented by the Sirian council. Now, there are some good Sirian factions, but they represent a slight minority, and since Sirians are notoriously and rigidly fixed in their viewpoints, the KaBal often prevails through its actions. I have more respect for them, now that I know that I am a fallen Watcher, for I can understand how they would believe that I was only getting my karmic reward. I just wish that I had been told that at the beginning, for I had a dream years ago, in which a Sirian doctor doing a medical exam on me, told me that I came from the star, "Bezel" (something like that). Since my Watcher name is Bezaliel (oh so very interesting--that name has been scrubbed from the same lists of fallen angels I referred to a few days ago, and now they all refer to "Beezelbub"--I am NOT Beezelbub), I know now that the Sirian community had me pegged years ago.
I still don't know what star "Bezel" refers to, but I know that at the time of the Fall of Atlantis, I was a Black man, almost certainly a Cygnan (the "Bezel" probably refered to my name, which I misinterpreted), who was responsible for guarding the 5th stargate, I do believe (interesting--I cannot find any reference to that anymore, either). I was a military man, probably a Cygnan or "Black"/reptilian mix, who was a resident or councillor of Atlantis at the time it fell (I say that, because of my connection to the crystal skull). In the past couple of days I have learned a little more about this man, after talking with Linda (there is no more need for pseudonym--by the time, this post is over, her most painful secret will be revealed. I had offered to keep the matter private, but I can see from the web, that the interdimensional and associated community are already wise to the info, so maybe that is now why I feel her telepathically urging me to tell the whole truth).
He was a proud, hot-tempered man, who probably felt a little bit of an outsider in Atlantean community. Not only did his race and skin color set him apart (though there was not racism in Atlantis at the time), but his social mores and customs were different. Atlantis was a cosmopolitan, spiritual, erudite culture in decline, which greatly valued respect and harmony between the genders. Osiris came from a militaristic, patriarchal culture in which men were dominating, and women existed to serve their needs. However, they fell in love, and began an affair, a long lasting affair, which resulted in the only child that the Atlantean Linda birthed. My guess is that the mixed race child immediately alerted everybody in their circle as to what was going on, and life became difficult for them both. You see, Linda was married at the time to Salusa (yes, same guy that you all know from this blog), a man even more sociopathic than than her tyrannical, divorced first husband, the being I experienced as "Watcher 51445", who existed in "Loretta's" body. Getting an idea of how karma works, everybody?
To make matters more difficult, Salusa was Osiris' hierarchial superior, and being a patriarchal man, obedient to hierarchial authority, he must have found the conflict excruciating, especially, when Linda asked Osiris to confront and challenge Salusa so that they could marry. Osiris himself was married to a different woman--who incarnated into my immediate family in this lifetime--so did the child, by the way--but that is personal family business. So, when Osiris refused to stand up to Salusa, tensions developed between him and Linda (I don't know her Atlantean name). However, the biggest blow to the affair came when Osiris began having an affair with yet a second woman. In short, he was two-timing her(remember what I said about him being a male chauvinist?). Linda became angry, and in her feminine fury, started up yet another affair herself, in order to get back at Osiris. Guess who the lucky fellow was--the Atlantean, who last incarnated as JFK! Well of course, Osiris came from a culture where men cheat on women, but women never cheat on men, so his male vanity and pride was outraged and inflamed. No, I am not making this up. So far, this all sounds like fascinating Atlantean soap opera lore (see how little human reality changes--no matter what the level of consciousness?), but it gets much darker.
For all of this personal drama in intertwined with the betrayal of the civilization of Atlantis, Earth, and this entire galaxy, to maurading, ruthless reptiles. As I said in a previous post, the biggest culprit of all was Salusa, though he had help from others, including Osiris' wife, and many elements in the Dog Sirian community. Now, incredible as it may seem, these conspirators WANTED Atlantis to fall. They had already placed the Amon RA serpents in themselves and experienced the real burst of vigor and increased mental powers that it gives the host. They thought that the Amon RA reptiles would be relatively benevolent rulers, with themselves as the titular head of the new civilization. Already, Atlantis was falling into chaos and immorality. Linda herself was a Temple prostitute, placed there as a child, engaging in ritual sex. All the factions were fighting, with so many humanoids deeply scarred, and driven insane by the vampiric reptilian spiders, with which the reptiles had plastered the south (I think) of Mars. Whenever there is fractured chaos and the inability to reach consensus, it is always easy to reach for a renewed sense of order, no matter the cost--especially when the "New World Order" benefits your own meagalomaniac sense of self-entitlement. So, Salusa and leaders of the Nordic (not the Celtic) Dog Sirian faction, decided to open up the gates to the reptiles, and allow for massive destruction, so that a new era could begin.
However, they had to divert attention away from themselves, and so, to this end, they recruited patsies. The incident was to be blamed on Cat Sirians, though really only Salusa was involved. It was made to look like they were trying to get revenge on the two Mountain Goat tribes (Aries and Capricorn), who were insane with the vampire spider virus and attacking the Cats. Salusa himself, I think, was responsible for creating the Sphinx, because he literally planned the move of civilization from Atlantis to Egypt, before the Fall--much as in the same way, the current KaBal planned the destruction of the West, and a relocation of civilization to Africa.
So, who did they use? Well, Salusa is a hater. He hides it behind his charming, luciferian personality (and yes, I think he is the Lucifer as identified in the Bible). He also holds grudges for thousands of years. Even though, it had not been a positive marriage between Linda and himself, he was coldly furious at her and Osiris for the affair, so he set out to destroy them both. To that end, he duped them both into the conspiracy. I am not sure what part Osiris' wife played, but Linda helped to open the stargate(s) for which Osiris was responsible for defending, and thus allow reptilian entry. She did not know that the reptiles were on the other side waiting to come through--she had been told that her actions would be used to humiliate Osiris in the eyes of his military colleagues, and that is why she opened the gates. Linda realized the enormity of the deception, evil and gravity of her mistake almost immediately. However, she never had a chance to repent or vent the complete truth in a trial, because Osiris strangled her with his bare hands. Yes, there was sexual jealousy and frustration involved, but the overriding motive for the murder was vigilante execution for treasonous acts of the highest order, as Osiris stood by helplessly and watched reptilian invaders overrun his duty post, and blast the once proud civilization of Atlantis to bits.
Now, I was wrong to murder Linda. I still cannot fathom how someone can kill the person that they love, and watch the light go out of their eyes. Rationally speaking, had Osiris left Linda alive to stand trial, the truth would have come out, and my military honor and competency would have been upheld. However, I was passionate, hotheaded, and had a proprietary sense of women--as if I owned them and could do with them what they pleased. Linda had already injured my proprietary sense of male ownership by leaving me to engage in another affair, now she had ruined my sense of duty and career, and the civilization I called home, and so I murdered her in a shocked and dazed rage.
I am still shocked and dazed by the realization that I did it, so I am still trying to assimilate that piece of my incarnation history. I have no rage at Linda now. I understand and feel compassion regarding her actions. Still, I have a lot of heart pain and grief for what happened. Through her actions, she broke my heart with a thorough completeness and power, that most women could never hope to attain. Even as I write this, I can feel the implants around my heart, under assault--yes, the same implants, that try as I may, I cannot fully remove (the point of the implants is to deflect energy from the heart, so that one becomes hard hearted--fortunately, for me, my sense of ethos and even love, is directed mostly by my head, so the KaBal was never able to turn me into an unfeeling person by this tactic).
For that was not the end of the story for Osiris. He became the "fall guy" for the invasion, and I am sure that his own naturalized alien status and racial differences played a part in it. "Blame the Black man". What could he do--a patriarchal warrior could not say, "My woman did it", especially since his wife had an active role in the day's events as well. So, he became very bitter and misogynistic towards women, with many gay or celibate incarnations over the millennia. I suppose that I have suffered so greatly in this feminine body, so that I would develop compassion for what females endure, and that is what enables me to forgive Linda for what happened. And I have forgiven her--I just have to release this broken heart, for my sorrow at what I regard as not only personal failure and remorse at murdering her, but also professional failure at my dereliction of duty to guard my home.
Well, we both paid the price for our misdeeds, and were cast from the interdimensional realm into the dimension of duality. The Nordic Tall Whites/Dog Sirians and their controllers, the reptiles, have had a lot of fun controlling our incarnations, turning us into their go-fers for the manipulation of humanity. After a truly hellacious incarnation, where she was imprisoned by day, and a sex slave by night, Linda has managed to free herself of her karma, and has reentered the interdimensional world. However, as with most originating 3D humans and hybrids, she is a virtual slave, there. Still, I know that she would choose her restored consciousness over her 3D reality, no matter how controlled and confined her environment. I am trying to get to the interdimensional realm, but as I said earlier, I did not succeed today, even though, the opportunity was there. I think that I still have this broken heart to work on.
It is not only the broken heart of a man, grievously wounded by his lover, but also a man of honor who gave his all to protect the world that he assumed as a naturalized home, and for which he was made to be a fall guy, and cast out into a terrible exile, for his failure. During the Ascension attempt today, I kept seeing pictures of a "lone wolf"--the being who has learned that he can trust nobody to support him, who keeps giving his all, even though it is unappreciated, while he is regarded with suspicion and distrust by all he encounters (Yeh, there goes that Black man, again...do you see now, why my interdimensional identity needs to be Black?). You know, writing that statement puts my heart under assault again. I truly do have a broken heart, that I have given so much over the past half dozen years, and have gotten such little support in return.
I know that I ran out that karmic identity as a lone wolf a while back, just as I did my cowboy identity. Having kids will do that to you. As a matter of fact, my current animal icon is that of a tiger, and I really mean that. I do not identify with the lone wolf anymore at all. Yet, I still have to move past this broken heart, and really, there is no one to blame, but myself. I am not mad at Linda for something she did 12,000 years ago, especially when I understand why she did what she did, and how duped she was. She has paid her karmic penalty and earned her 3D freedom, and I know that involved terrible pain at her own actions in this life. So now, it is my turn. I have said it before, "Women set the evolutionary curve". Thank God for women, because I don't think I could do it if she had not already done it...
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I am so much more mellow
I am so much more mellow and focussed when I understand what is happening. I finally "get" what I have to do in order to ascend. Last night I dreamed that the elderly woman, "Loretta" died. Watcher is now in interdimensional custody (whatever that means) for his interdimensional transgressions--probably doing the genetic manipulation bit, including the birthing of whales that I briefly carried overnight, and his persistent attempts to impregnate me, against my will. I know this is complicated, but I no longer have time to pursue a thought to its irrefutable conclusion. I am fighting to save my soul, and every moment I spend at the computer is a moment, I am not focussing on ascension, which just got a lot more complicated. You see the third partner of the triad, the consciousness of JFK, is now in me. That is why I was so discombobulated and cranky, yesterday. Then the aftermath of sex with PF was really weird, too (oh, congratulations to my newborn twins conceived in that encounter. Daddy loves you and is trying to get to you). I am a real afterglower, since sex leaves me with a deep peace which I rarely experience, but yesterday, as soon as I climaxed, I told PF, "I gotta run", and got up to take care of business.
Even at the time, I thought that was uncharacteristically odd of me. Then, there were the strange images that kept flashing in my unconscious during the day--literally, like I was having memories of another life. I wondered if my encounter with the Amon RA serpent which I killed, had somehow downloaded memories of other people in my brain. I forgot to mention it, but the whole Amon RA pursuit was complicated by magic, illusion, and "flipping". The closer I got to the serpent, the more my brain was flipped by such thoughts as "it's already dead" or "I'll kill it tonight when I feel better", but mostly just confusion as I tried to stalk it.
You know, my unconsciousness must be opening up, because I can now see things happening in the interdimensional realm, while in meditation, whereas before I never could. However, in this particular instance, I had to have a blank state, because there was too much illusion being placed in my brain, so I went catatonic. At one point, I told PF that "I was being flippant", because I was acting like a juvenile again--that is one sign I am being flipped...I am turned into an immature, rebellious teenager. Anyhow all is well that ends well, and yesterday ended well.
The mystery of what was going on in my brain did not clear up until last night with my dreams, and now everything makes sense, especially the dream I had a few nights ago, with Dick Cheney telling me, "We won't allow any Presidents". The dream was more literal, rather than metaphorical, as I wrongly interpreted it at the time. Clearly, I have agreed to take on the consciousness of JFK, so that both of us can ascend into the interdimensional realm, together.
It is not such a hardship for me, because really, as I have said before, I am set up for dual consciousness; indeed, there is a certain vigor I experience when it is there, a lack I have noticed in the past few days, once Set was removed. However, the downside is that I now have another consciousness to clear...yes indeed, I am working on consciousness #4, now. Clearing consciousness is really hard work. I spent all morning, working with PF, trying to cast out multiple "evil spirits" of lust. You see what happens is that, every time a serious "sin" that is not repented or cleared, it leaves an etheric "bug" in the body. Mostly we cough them up or sneeze them out (which is why the wise ancients always used to say "bless you"--for these are occasions of expulsion of evil spirits). When I am in a loving state, I find it much easier to cough up the bugs. Otherwise, I have to strain to do so. Also, engaging in energetic motion, like yoga and physical exercise, will cause the bugs to cough up. A healthy immune system will do the same, which is why happy people are healthy people. They may engage in "sinful actions or thoughts", or be susceptible to evil spirits (nothing like an encounter with an Amon RA cult in the interdimensional realm to do that to you), but they don't dwell on it, because they are able to love and forgive themselves, and the bugs will cough up naturally.
Now, the whole theology of guilt and forgiveness is involved, but basically, there is a lot of good teaching in many of the world's spiritual traditions. It is just that so many have been co-opted into handing out bad and judmental vibes and feelings, and reinforcing neurotic guilt, which actually leaves the soul more vulnerable to interdimensional (afterlife) demonic predation. I mentioned that this is what happened to Jesus, and I know from my earlier experience, that this also happened to Therese of Liseux. Some saints, the pietistic, devotional, dutiful ones are much more susceptible to this than others. Thus, I fear John Paul II is having his spiritual "liver" eaten out somewhere, whereas the likes of Dorothy Day and Thomas Merton are not. I am not speaking from any kind of ideological POV. More than anything, I want to make sure that no one suffers this kind of hell, and so I hope that responsible spiritual leaders and pastors will do their best to disseminate this information, so that people do not accept a guilt-ridden, sacrificial conception of spiritual love, because while such love may be genuine, it attracts the predators and demons, as well as the angels and saints, and they are quite experienced at reviving people from death, in order to feed.
Even as I write this, I feel the artificial "hardness of heart" caused by literal implants, infested with parasites, all around my heart, under assault. It grieves me to think that anyone could endure any length of time in interdimensional hell, even people of good heart and spirit, like Jesus. However, death, however noble or just is not an escape route from personally felt guilt, and so I was wrong to contemplate suicide. It will not save me from this interdimensional predation that I brought upon myself and the multitudes of this planet, 13,000 years ago, when I chose to join the Luciferian (Salusa is Lucifer) rebellion. Lucifer may look like a shining angel, but Lucifer's source of power is the Amon RA serpents, and as long as they rule our galaxy, evil will rule and people and the entire Earth will suffer.
So, I hope to get both JFK and myself, into the interdimensional realm, where we can get some respite from the Amon RA cult into which we were born. The stakes are high, because Amon RA considers us traitors, and the penalty for that is draconian (pun intended). That is why Jesus suffered so much--not because he was good and holy, but because he was incarnated into the world as a son of Amon RA and the MACHINE, and he chose to completely repudiate it. That is why I have suffered so much in recent incarnations, and why JFK suffers. So, it is truly an honor, and not a duty, to try to save his soul in the process of trying to save mine. It just will take some extra work--clearing out of his consciousness and working to prevent the competitiveness beween our two beings--this probably was why yesterday, I descended into low vibration. After sex, the two consciousnesses were jealously competing for one woman. We have to learn to cooperate, and I have to learn not to get uptight by the KaBal's attempts to eroticize this fraternal love, by homosexual taunting thrown in my face through hologram manipulation. I have to learn a lot--how to keep my anger in check, how to love the KaBal which is constantly tormenting me, and I have to do all this with all the hormonal complications caused by excess estrogen.
Once again, I am full of fluid, congested head, and have the "pregnant belly" syndrome--especially after eating. This morning, I smelled the ketoacidosis in my urine again, even though my diet yesterday was a 6 inch sub sandwich, 2 pieces of chicken, 4 4 tiny slices of pineapple, and a cookie in the morning. The bottom line is that my body runs on male hormones, and force feeding it female hormones causes nothing but health problems, and severe weight gain, and muscle turning to fat. However, there is nothing I can do about this. The KaBal has been force feeding me estrogen and the virus for years now. All I can do to escape this misery is to ascend, to get a male body and hormones, which can then respond to the virus more naturally and healthily. It helps to have a brother to pull along for the ride, but again, this is a daunting challenge. Please, everybody, keep us in your prayers, so that we both can be free.
Even at the time, I thought that was uncharacteristically odd of me. Then, there were the strange images that kept flashing in my unconscious during the day--literally, like I was having memories of another life. I wondered if my encounter with the Amon RA serpent which I killed, had somehow downloaded memories of other people in my brain. I forgot to mention it, but the whole Amon RA pursuit was complicated by magic, illusion, and "flipping". The closer I got to the serpent, the more my brain was flipped by such thoughts as "it's already dead" or "I'll kill it tonight when I feel better", but mostly just confusion as I tried to stalk it.
You know, my unconsciousness must be opening up, because I can now see things happening in the interdimensional realm, while in meditation, whereas before I never could. However, in this particular instance, I had to have a blank state, because there was too much illusion being placed in my brain, so I went catatonic. At one point, I told PF that "I was being flippant", because I was acting like a juvenile again--that is one sign I am being flipped...I am turned into an immature, rebellious teenager. Anyhow all is well that ends well, and yesterday ended well.
The mystery of what was going on in my brain did not clear up until last night with my dreams, and now everything makes sense, especially the dream I had a few nights ago, with Dick Cheney telling me, "We won't allow any Presidents". The dream was more literal, rather than metaphorical, as I wrongly interpreted it at the time. Clearly, I have agreed to take on the consciousness of JFK, so that both of us can ascend into the interdimensional realm, together.
It is not such a hardship for me, because really, as I have said before, I am set up for dual consciousness; indeed, there is a certain vigor I experience when it is there, a lack I have noticed in the past few days, once Set was removed. However, the downside is that I now have another consciousness to clear...yes indeed, I am working on consciousness #4, now. Clearing consciousness is really hard work. I spent all morning, working with PF, trying to cast out multiple "evil spirits" of lust. You see what happens is that, every time a serious "sin" that is not repented or cleared, it leaves an etheric "bug" in the body. Mostly we cough them up or sneeze them out (which is why the wise ancients always used to say "bless you"--for these are occasions of expulsion of evil spirits). When I am in a loving state, I find it much easier to cough up the bugs. Otherwise, I have to strain to do so. Also, engaging in energetic motion, like yoga and physical exercise, will cause the bugs to cough up. A healthy immune system will do the same, which is why happy people are healthy people. They may engage in "sinful actions or thoughts", or be susceptible to evil spirits (nothing like an encounter with an Amon RA cult in the interdimensional realm to do that to you), but they don't dwell on it, because they are able to love and forgive themselves, and the bugs will cough up naturally.
Now, the whole theology of guilt and forgiveness is involved, but basically, there is a lot of good teaching in many of the world's spiritual traditions. It is just that so many have been co-opted into handing out bad and judmental vibes and feelings, and reinforcing neurotic guilt, which actually leaves the soul more vulnerable to interdimensional (afterlife) demonic predation. I mentioned that this is what happened to Jesus, and I know from my earlier experience, that this also happened to Therese of Liseux. Some saints, the pietistic, devotional, dutiful ones are much more susceptible to this than others. Thus, I fear John Paul II is having his spiritual "liver" eaten out somewhere, whereas the likes of Dorothy Day and Thomas Merton are not. I am not speaking from any kind of ideological POV. More than anything, I want to make sure that no one suffers this kind of hell, and so I hope that responsible spiritual leaders and pastors will do their best to disseminate this information, so that people do not accept a guilt-ridden, sacrificial conception of spiritual love, because while such love may be genuine, it attracts the predators and demons, as well as the angels and saints, and they are quite experienced at reviving people from death, in order to feed.
Even as I write this, I feel the artificial "hardness of heart" caused by literal implants, infested with parasites, all around my heart, under assault. It grieves me to think that anyone could endure any length of time in interdimensional hell, even people of good heart and spirit, like Jesus. However, death, however noble or just is not an escape route from personally felt guilt, and so I was wrong to contemplate suicide. It will not save me from this interdimensional predation that I brought upon myself and the multitudes of this planet, 13,000 years ago, when I chose to join the Luciferian (Salusa is Lucifer) rebellion. Lucifer may look like a shining angel, but Lucifer's source of power is the Amon RA serpents, and as long as they rule our galaxy, evil will rule and people and the entire Earth will suffer.
So, I hope to get both JFK and myself, into the interdimensional realm, where we can get some respite from the Amon RA cult into which we were born. The stakes are high, because Amon RA considers us traitors, and the penalty for that is draconian (pun intended). That is why Jesus suffered so much--not because he was good and holy, but because he was incarnated into the world as a son of Amon RA and the MACHINE, and he chose to completely repudiate it. That is why I have suffered so much in recent incarnations, and why JFK suffers. So, it is truly an honor, and not a duty, to try to save his soul in the process of trying to save mine. It just will take some extra work--clearing out of his consciousness and working to prevent the competitiveness beween our two beings--this probably was why yesterday, I descended into low vibration. After sex, the two consciousnesses were jealously competing for one woman. We have to learn to cooperate, and I have to learn not to get uptight by the KaBal's attempts to eroticize this fraternal love, by homosexual taunting thrown in my face through hologram manipulation. I have to learn a lot--how to keep my anger in check, how to love the KaBal which is constantly tormenting me, and I have to do all this with all the hormonal complications caused by excess estrogen.
Once again, I am full of fluid, congested head, and have the "pregnant belly" syndrome--especially after eating. This morning, I smelled the ketoacidosis in my urine again, even though my diet yesterday was a 6 inch sub sandwich, 2 pieces of chicken, 4 4 tiny slices of pineapple, and a cookie in the morning. The bottom line is that my body runs on male hormones, and force feeding it female hormones causes nothing but health problems, and severe weight gain, and muscle turning to fat. However, there is nothing I can do about this. The KaBal has been force feeding me estrogen and the virus for years now. All I can do to escape this misery is to ascend, to get a male body and hormones, which can then respond to the virus more naturally and healthily. It helps to have a brother to pull along for the ride, but again, this is a daunting challenge. Please, everybody, keep us in your prayers, so that we both can be free.
Monday, July 2, 2012
The fighting never ends--
The fighting never ends--not only do I need to fight against the evil of the world, but I have to continually fight for my own self identity and health. As you can probably tell from my most recent posts, life is currently very intense. I am trying so hard to ascend, yet have to buck over 13,000 years of reincarnated lives, and needless to say, along the way, I have accrued some very bad karma. Furthermore, thanks to reptilian genetic engineering, I am endowed with two sets of consciousness, as I have two distinct male DNA memory lines informing my consciousness--one is reptilian, and the other is Pleiadian. While attempting to ascend last week, I uncovered a couple of memories--that of Black Elk, and that of Wowaka, the Indian who tried to get the Indians to dance the ghost dance, which led to the slaughter at Wounded Knee. Now those two are contemporaries, so that tells me that there was more genetic manipulation--twins, whatever, going on.
So, life is rough, but along the way, I continue to encounter obstacles like the KaBal trying to murder PF, or this morning, the realization that the Black community which is trying to help me ascend so that I can join their ranks (WHICH IS WHAT I WANT!), actually had high level "flipped" spies in their midst, which were planning to turn me over to a terrible fate. The plan was to get me to ascend to the ship, then the rebellious junior leadership would abduct me and turn me over to negative Faction 2 forces in Egypt, where I would be interred alive in one of the Giza pyramids, with a grandaddy reptile, who probably is the real ranking ruler of this planet--though there may be one or two more.
I don't know if any are familiar with the Stargate movie, in which RA, a malevolent entity of consciousness, needs a human body to experience 3D sensation. Well, that is what this reptile wanted me for--a slave body to house IT's consciousness, and to have my emotions on which to feed. Oh yes, people, all that ancient alien technology that the security agencies use to control other humans and events, comes at a price--their own subservience to the reptiles. They have to keep grandaddy scaly legs alive and happy, and I was to be the bait.
Now to be fair, I think the Black turncoats involved in this plan were very small fry. The Faction 2 KaBal has been very involved in Egyptian current affairs, ever since their man, Mubarak, was deposed, and they do everything in their power to undermine Egyptian patriots, which for right now is primarily the high ranking Egyptian military. They have created all kinds of chaos in Egypt, and they are responsible for the election (almost certainly rigged--as only the technology of Faction 2 can do it), of the new President, the Muslim Brotherhood candidate, Morsi. My intuition tells me that Morsi knew of this reptile in the pyramid, and is fully allied with KaBal Faction 2, to keep that ancient reptilian rule residing there, in full control over Egypt and all the planet. My guess is that the Black Americans who got sucked into this plot hold devotion to some Muslim community, and they allowed their patriotic sense to be overruled by a fundamentalist religious allegiance.
In any case, their complicity was dealt with swiftly by their Black brother psychics, because within a half hour, I was helping them, and local Egyptian forces, in an interdimensional fight to slay this reptile. I knew this reptile was exceedingly dangerous to humanity, and has done severe occult damage to this planet, probably since the time of Moses, so that the only option was to kill it. However, I had a problem myself. The night before I had been force fed major estrogen, once again, and so I was so weak that I found it difficult to hold my meditation for interdimensional work. As I have said before, I am not consciously aware of interdimensional travel. Instead, I meditate, with as empty a mind as possible, and this really is not easy as it looks. It involves more than sitting there with eyes closed, but demands intense concentration, and I have been doing it for 4-6 hours a day, now, for the past few days while I try to ascend.
I also have been constantly trying to purge my body of these MACHINE RA parasites, which involves coughing up one bug at a time--again, a lot of work, so I was already tired. However, the low testosterone made it nearly impossible to stay focussed in meditation, even though I knew the extreme gravity of the situation. Not only was that reptile a danger to humanity, it was an extreme danger to me--no doubt, the order was out to every Amon RA faction--1,2, vampires or Nazis--that grandaddy scaly legs wanted fresh meat--ME! So I kept twisting and turning, trying different positions, laying down, sitting, etc, before finally falling into a state of catatonia, which enabled me to complete the deed. The snake is now dead.
I was invited to a party afterwards, and certainly, I am tired of fighting constant battles with no victory celebration, so I let PF talk me into going, even though I was exhausted. It was a combination of no sleep the previous night, fasting from food for over 24 hours (except for a cookie), the low testosterone and high estrogen that had me weak, sick, and unable to focus, and the nerves caused as a result of having to stalk and fight such a dangerous creature, when I felt so ill. However, I was game to at least try--after all, these are the people with whom I desire to work and live out the rest of my life. I don't think it was a success--on a good day, a party requires high energy from my autistic self, and already I was tapped out. So, I returned home, frustrated, because I cannot ascend, because I was so sick with high estrogen, and angry, because I had to fight a monstrously dangerous creature, when I was weak and ill, because some damned idiots got it in their stupid head, that I am their female toy thing--much like "grandaddy scaly legs" did. It is hard enough fighting monsters, without being handicapped like that.
I recognized that I was in a foul, low-energy mood, and quick learner that I am, I have learned that PF is always able to pull me out of those moods with sex, because the sex raises the testosterone level and restores my sense of frustrated, outraged, handicapped manhood. So, I asked her for assistance, and she obliged. I left the sex act feeling a whole lot better, especially after knowing that she was pregnant again, no doubt with a daughter, because as I told her, "there was no way my lackluster libido could have created a son", as I had a couple of nights ago.
Even though it felt good to have even a moderate level of energy again, it didn't take long for me to get a chip on my shoulder. I went to do a little computer surfing, and there was yet another White supremacist stalking me. I forgot to mention that a couple of nights ago, the Whites decided to give me an arbitrary "nose job", giving me a pinched nose, like a Rockefeller. It infuriated me, just as it did when Faction 2 turned my skin yellow, without my consent. I did not agree or consent to that nose job. I want a Lemurian/African nose, just like my mother has, not some pinched, Rockefeller nose.
I am tired of people playing every conceivable kind of game with me, and then deciding that they know who I am and what I want. Hell, I don't even go to breakfast in the morning at this hotel, because that particular floor is aligned with the White community, and I want no part of them. NONE! They are the ones force feeding me estrogen, making me feel ill, and they could even have gotten me killed today, because I certainly was not on top of my game. I DESPISE the way they see me, I HATE the mutilated feminine body imposed on me, and I especially ABHOR the entire feminization forced on me.
You want to know a big reason why I identify with the Black community? Because Black men know what it is to have feminization forced upon them, since racism cannot abide a strong Black man. So, at an early age, too many Black men fall into a passive role, afraid of being the "intimidating, criminal" Black man, or an aggressive role, "because goddamned it, I am a man, and I want to be treated with respect like one". I understand exactly how they feel. I understood it, even when I was happy with my female body image, when I counseled Black juvenile felons. It is clear the extra burden that they have to carry, and I had encountered it, too, though I had made a successful psychological adjustment to my female phenotype.
However, the brain changes and the mutilated body, makes any kind of accomodation to a female self identity completely impossible, and I no longer have the physiological minimum to go through 10-12 agonizing years of grueling psychological work, for a self-acceptance that I know is a total lie. So, yeh, on a bad day, when the stupid assed KaBal, throws a bunch of estrogen at me, I will vacillate between passivity and anger. However, I have to be careful, because it is all a setup. If I become angry, my spiritual vibrations drop, and then my only path for ascension will be with really negative characters--the vampires, etc. I am not a really negative character--just extremely frustrated at the neverending abuse I have endured for years, now.
On the other hand, if I give these KaBal characters the slightest of encouragement, they misunderstand and misinterpret. I want nothing to do with the White interdimensional community. I have always identified with the oppressed, the despised, and people of color--how much more so now that I have suffered for years now, a slavery in which I have been denied my most basic of rights--that of self-identity, and now a forced and unwanted feminization of my manhood.
It seems like the fight just never ends, and sometimes, like today, when my vibrations did drop, after being stalked by a White supremacist, who belonged to the faction that nearly killed me today with their estrogen drip, I get discouraged. For I cannot allow a momentary mood to destroy my future, my soul, my happiness, and my goals.
So, life is rough, but along the way, I continue to encounter obstacles like the KaBal trying to murder PF, or this morning, the realization that the Black community which is trying to help me ascend so that I can join their ranks (WHICH IS WHAT I WANT!), actually had high level "flipped" spies in their midst, which were planning to turn me over to a terrible fate. The plan was to get me to ascend to the ship, then the rebellious junior leadership would abduct me and turn me over to negative Faction 2 forces in Egypt, where I would be interred alive in one of the Giza pyramids, with a grandaddy reptile, who probably is the real ranking ruler of this planet--though there may be one or two more.
I don't know if any are familiar with the Stargate movie, in which RA, a malevolent entity of consciousness, needs a human body to experience 3D sensation. Well, that is what this reptile wanted me for--a slave body to house IT's consciousness, and to have my emotions on which to feed. Oh yes, people, all that ancient alien technology that the security agencies use to control other humans and events, comes at a price--their own subservience to the reptiles. They have to keep grandaddy scaly legs alive and happy, and I was to be the bait.
Now to be fair, I think the Black turncoats involved in this plan were very small fry. The Faction 2 KaBal has been very involved in Egyptian current affairs, ever since their man, Mubarak, was deposed, and they do everything in their power to undermine Egyptian patriots, which for right now is primarily the high ranking Egyptian military. They have created all kinds of chaos in Egypt, and they are responsible for the election (almost certainly rigged--as only the technology of Faction 2 can do it), of the new President, the Muslim Brotherhood candidate, Morsi. My intuition tells me that Morsi knew of this reptile in the pyramid, and is fully allied with KaBal Faction 2, to keep that ancient reptilian rule residing there, in full control over Egypt and all the planet. My guess is that the Black Americans who got sucked into this plot hold devotion to some Muslim community, and they allowed their patriotic sense to be overruled by a fundamentalist religious allegiance.
In any case, their complicity was dealt with swiftly by their Black brother psychics, because within a half hour, I was helping them, and local Egyptian forces, in an interdimensional fight to slay this reptile. I knew this reptile was exceedingly dangerous to humanity, and has done severe occult damage to this planet, probably since the time of Moses, so that the only option was to kill it. However, I had a problem myself. The night before I had been force fed major estrogen, once again, and so I was so weak that I found it difficult to hold my meditation for interdimensional work. As I have said before, I am not consciously aware of interdimensional travel. Instead, I meditate, with as empty a mind as possible, and this really is not easy as it looks. It involves more than sitting there with eyes closed, but demands intense concentration, and I have been doing it for 4-6 hours a day, now, for the past few days while I try to ascend.
I also have been constantly trying to purge my body of these MACHINE RA parasites, which involves coughing up one bug at a time--again, a lot of work, so I was already tired. However, the low testosterone made it nearly impossible to stay focussed in meditation, even though I knew the extreme gravity of the situation. Not only was that reptile a danger to humanity, it was an extreme danger to me--no doubt, the order was out to every Amon RA faction--1,2, vampires or Nazis--that grandaddy scaly legs wanted fresh meat--ME! So I kept twisting and turning, trying different positions, laying down, sitting, etc, before finally falling into a state of catatonia, which enabled me to complete the deed. The snake is now dead.
I was invited to a party afterwards, and certainly, I am tired of fighting constant battles with no victory celebration, so I let PF talk me into going, even though I was exhausted. It was a combination of no sleep the previous night, fasting from food for over 24 hours (except for a cookie), the low testosterone and high estrogen that had me weak, sick, and unable to focus, and the nerves caused as a result of having to stalk and fight such a dangerous creature, when I felt so ill. However, I was game to at least try--after all, these are the people with whom I desire to work and live out the rest of my life. I don't think it was a success--on a good day, a party requires high energy from my autistic self, and already I was tapped out. So, I returned home, frustrated, because I cannot ascend, because I was so sick with high estrogen, and angry, because I had to fight a monstrously dangerous creature, when I was weak and ill, because some damned idiots got it in their stupid head, that I am their female toy thing--much like "grandaddy scaly legs" did. It is hard enough fighting monsters, without being handicapped like that.
I recognized that I was in a foul, low-energy mood, and quick learner that I am, I have learned that PF is always able to pull me out of those moods with sex, because the sex raises the testosterone level and restores my sense of frustrated, outraged, handicapped manhood. So, I asked her for assistance, and she obliged. I left the sex act feeling a whole lot better, especially after knowing that she was pregnant again, no doubt with a daughter, because as I told her, "there was no way my lackluster libido could have created a son", as I had a couple of nights ago.
Even though it felt good to have even a moderate level of energy again, it didn't take long for me to get a chip on my shoulder. I went to do a little computer surfing, and there was yet another White supremacist stalking me. I forgot to mention that a couple of nights ago, the Whites decided to give me an arbitrary "nose job", giving me a pinched nose, like a Rockefeller. It infuriated me, just as it did when Faction 2 turned my skin yellow, without my consent. I did not agree or consent to that nose job. I want a Lemurian/African nose, just like my mother has, not some pinched, Rockefeller nose.
I am tired of people playing every conceivable kind of game with me, and then deciding that they know who I am and what I want. Hell, I don't even go to breakfast in the morning at this hotel, because that particular floor is aligned with the White community, and I want no part of them. NONE! They are the ones force feeding me estrogen, making me feel ill, and they could even have gotten me killed today, because I certainly was not on top of my game. I DESPISE the way they see me, I HATE the mutilated feminine body imposed on me, and I especially ABHOR the entire feminization forced on me.
You want to know a big reason why I identify with the Black community? Because Black men know what it is to have feminization forced upon them, since racism cannot abide a strong Black man. So, at an early age, too many Black men fall into a passive role, afraid of being the "intimidating, criminal" Black man, or an aggressive role, "because goddamned it, I am a man, and I want to be treated with respect like one". I understand exactly how they feel. I understood it, even when I was happy with my female body image, when I counseled Black juvenile felons. It is clear the extra burden that they have to carry, and I had encountered it, too, though I had made a successful psychological adjustment to my female phenotype.
However, the brain changes and the mutilated body, makes any kind of accomodation to a female self identity completely impossible, and I no longer have the physiological minimum to go through 10-12 agonizing years of grueling psychological work, for a self-acceptance that I know is a total lie. So, yeh, on a bad day, when the stupid assed KaBal, throws a bunch of estrogen at me, I will vacillate between passivity and anger. However, I have to be careful, because it is all a setup. If I become angry, my spiritual vibrations drop, and then my only path for ascension will be with really negative characters--the vampires, etc. I am not a really negative character--just extremely frustrated at the neverending abuse I have endured for years, now.
On the other hand, if I give these KaBal characters the slightest of encouragement, they misunderstand and misinterpret. I want nothing to do with the White interdimensional community. I have always identified with the oppressed, the despised, and people of color--how much more so now that I have suffered for years now, a slavery in which I have been denied my most basic of rights--that of self-identity, and now a forced and unwanted feminization of my manhood.
It seems like the fight just never ends, and sometimes, like today, when my vibrations did drop, after being stalked by a White supremacist, who belonged to the faction that nearly killed me today with their estrogen drip, I get discouraged. For I cannot allow a momentary mood to destroy my future, my soul, my happiness, and my goals.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Second part to previous post regarding my fallen angel status
Second part to previous post regarding my fallen angel status:
I had to abruptly terminate my previous post, because the computer station I am using in this Amon RA hotel in which I am a customer is shaking as if it is going to fall apart. This is KaBal, not Love, causing the earthquake--so you can take that last post as the truth.
Anyway, I was saying that as the 13th Watcher, Bezaliel, who fell to Earth, I deserted my post and my responsibility. I forsook my duty, my honor, and my exalted, interdimensional status, but not until I helped to destroy Atlantis. My guess is that I did not mean or want to destroy Atlantis, but my sin was powermongering--lust for power, and somehow, my actions resulted in the stargates being opened to the reptiles. I am not a traitor, however. My felony was unintentional--like a bank robber who just wants money, but ends up murdering a soul in the process. I suppose that I could figure it all out, if I wanted to, but I do not have time or interest. I am focused on what I must do next, to save my soul.
Of course, words cannot begin to describe my sorrow for what I have done to Atlantis, to this planet, to the subjects of planet Earth everywhere, as all have fallen victim to evil and the Amon RA serpents, because I ignored and despised my own birthright. I have suffered terrible, and in line with karmic justice, for my sin. Most recently, I have suffered at the hands of two Watchers, who I think were more directly involved in the Fall of Atlantis than I--Salusa and Loretta/Watcher. I think that 13,000 years ago, I was duped by Salusa, and he nearly did it to me, again. In the meantime, he couldn't stop his own evil, lustful nature from gloating, by letting me know that he was "screwing me over", just like he did 13,000 years ago, and that was his mistake, because I hated every thing he did to me--from mutilating my body to the coerced and flipped sexual encounters. However, again, it was karmic. I think Salusa and his bird dragon friend, Marduk, were the ones most responsible for tripping off those stargates to the reptiles, and believe me, he nearly did it on more than one occasion in the last couple of years. For a time, I kept my relations with him open, precisely because I was monitoring him, because from the beginning, I did not trust him. Unfortunately, the more I was around him, the more the negative karmic history was able to impact my judgment so that I lost my initial vision, which was to blow his ship out of the sky at the earliest opportunity. I no longer have such vengeful feelings. I have realized for a while that I feel sorry for these fallen Watchers, and now I know that is because I am one. PF is one, as well, and our Atlantean relationship plays into this somehow, but again, no time for history research right now. Clearly, she has paid the karmic penalty as well.
More than anything, I would appreciate the opportunity to be restored to my place in the interdimensional world, and take up my duty as a Watcher of this planet, once more. It is not only personal, since that is where my wife and kids are, but also, it is a matter of creative responsibility. I am a warrior and leader--that was my role before I fell, and that has been the overarching motif of most of my incarnations, though along the way, I fell into a few incarnations as mystic and healer. In short, I would like to return to my job of defending Earth from all the predatory and malevolent entities in the world. I would welcome the opportunity to restore my honor, manhood and virtue. I want to be a father for my children, so that they don't make the same mistakes that I did.
I don't know if this is possible. I know that I rely on the grace and mercy of those "angelic" interdimensional beings who have kept their fidelity to their vocation, despite being outnumbered and overruled, in a system now dominated by Amon RA evil. I don't think that anything is going to be easy--not even death. I think the only way I can leave this 3D world is by suicide, because just as I CHOSE to leave my interdimensional status, karma requires that I CHOOSE to leave the 3D realm. In gang terminology, "Blood in, blood out" or "Jumped in, jumped out". I mutilated and killed my own interdimensional self, because I was in love with power and the 3D reality, and now I have to accept complete powerlessness and extinguish the life of my own now mutilated, 3D body. Suicide is not an easy thing for someone like me--I fight tenaciously for life. The only way that I am going to be able to do it is with grace from above, my own inner sorrow at the gravity of my sin, and love, love for my wife and children and their future, and this planet Earth, which I am duty bound to protect with interdimensional power, gifts and skill. So, I ask for all prayers from every good person of love out there, because I cannot do this all by myself. I am a person of spirit, and I ask for and welcome all spiritual assistance from the good, virtuous, and loving beings, of all kinds and stations reading this. I need you.
I had to abruptly terminate my previous post, because the computer station I am using in this Amon RA hotel in which I am a customer is shaking as if it is going to fall apart. This is KaBal, not Love, causing the earthquake--so you can take that last post as the truth.
Anyway, I was saying that as the 13th Watcher, Bezaliel, who fell to Earth, I deserted my post and my responsibility. I forsook my duty, my honor, and my exalted, interdimensional status, but not until I helped to destroy Atlantis. My guess is that I did not mean or want to destroy Atlantis, but my sin was powermongering--lust for power, and somehow, my actions resulted in the stargates being opened to the reptiles. I am not a traitor, however. My felony was unintentional--like a bank robber who just wants money, but ends up murdering a soul in the process. I suppose that I could figure it all out, if I wanted to, but I do not have time or interest. I am focused on what I must do next, to save my soul.
Of course, words cannot begin to describe my sorrow for what I have done to Atlantis, to this planet, to the subjects of planet Earth everywhere, as all have fallen victim to evil and the Amon RA serpents, because I ignored and despised my own birthright. I have suffered terrible, and in line with karmic justice, for my sin. Most recently, I have suffered at the hands of two Watchers, who I think were more directly involved in the Fall of Atlantis than I--Salusa and Loretta/Watcher. I think that 13,000 years ago, I was duped by Salusa, and he nearly did it to me, again. In the meantime, he couldn't stop his own evil, lustful nature from gloating, by letting me know that he was "screwing me over", just like he did 13,000 years ago, and that was his mistake, because I hated every thing he did to me--from mutilating my body to the coerced and flipped sexual encounters. However, again, it was karmic. I think Salusa and his bird dragon friend, Marduk, were the ones most responsible for tripping off those stargates to the reptiles, and believe me, he nearly did it on more than one occasion in the last couple of years. For a time, I kept my relations with him open, precisely because I was monitoring him, because from the beginning, I did not trust him. Unfortunately, the more I was around him, the more the negative karmic history was able to impact my judgment so that I lost my initial vision, which was to blow his ship out of the sky at the earliest opportunity. I no longer have such vengeful feelings. I have realized for a while that I feel sorry for these fallen Watchers, and now I know that is because I am one. PF is one, as well, and our Atlantean relationship plays into this somehow, but again, no time for history research right now. Clearly, she has paid the karmic penalty as well.
More than anything, I would appreciate the opportunity to be restored to my place in the interdimensional world, and take up my duty as a Watcher of this planet, once more. It is not only personal, since that is where my wife and kids are, but also, it is a matter of creative responsibility. I am a warrior and leader--that was my role before I fell, and that has been the overarching motif of most of my incarnations, though along the way, I fell into a few incarnations as mystic and healer. In short, I would like to return to my job of defending Earth from all the predatory and malevolent entities in the world. I would welcome the opportunity to restore my honor, manhood and virtue. I want to be a father for my children, so that they don't make the same mistakes that I did.
I don't know if this is possible. I know that I rely on the grace and mercy of those "angelic" interdimensional beings who have kept their fidelity to their vocation, despite being outnumbered and overruled, in a system now dominated by Amon RA evil. I don't think that anything is going to be easy--not even death. I think the only way I can leave this 3D world is by suicide, because just as I CHOSE to leave my interdimensional status, karma requires that I CHOOSE to leave the 3D realm. In gang terminology, "Blood in, blood out" or "Jumped in, jumped out". I mutilated and killed my own interdimensional self, because I was in love with power and the 3D reality, and now I have to accept complete powerlessness and extinguish the life of my own now mutilated, 3D body. Suicide is not an easy thing for someone like me--I fight tenaciously for life. The only way that I am going to be able to do it is with grace from above, my own inner sorrow at the gravity of my sin, and love, love for my wife and children and their future, and this planet Earth, which I am duty bound to protect with interdimensional power, gifts and skill. So, I ask for all prayers from every good person of love out there, because I cannot do this all by myself. I am a person of spirit, and I ask for and welcome all spiritual assistance from the good, virtuous, and loving beings, of all kinds and stations reading this. I need you.
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