Another day lost

Another day lost, another summer lost to the ravages of the psychotropic drugs. I try to gain hope from stories like little lost Jaycee--19 years of her life lost and her body ravaged by a man clearly under the same satanic inspiration and guidance as the ones who ravage me. I read yesterday of the peril the Earth is in, and truly didnt even care--I was too sick, deathbed sick, to care. I just wanted to pass over, and let the Earth pass over rather than suffer what I suffer. A population cannot even survive in this condition of which I have spent the majority of the last four years. For truly I am too sick to take care of the demands of daily life. My house is a mess, and I am too sick to care. Any scrap or morsel of energy I have automatically is given to immediate demands, but I am not capable of any industry or purpose. I cannot bear any emotional demands upon me--I just want to lay down and die. Gone is my energy, drive, joy and zest for living. At least today I am able to get up and move about--not so brain tumor sick that I can't even walk, hold my balance or my head. So once again, gotta start by trying to do basics, flapping feet to try to get some sense of body-self, wash dishes for the first time in a week, get thru the mountain of paperwork on my desk. And top of all this I still feel like shit. Summer is gone, wasted, lost, as is my life.