Still fighting for productivity

Still fighting for productivity as I am certain now that I am on some addtl kind of psychtoropic that steals all my energy. I was literally holding myself up against the sink in order to wash my dishes--didn't have the energy to stand by myself. Now,. as I type, I feel my muscle-weakened arms flag. My back muscles are all locked and I have major digestive issues going on. I need to do some brain vibration byt my energy is so stymied I don't know if i can do that. So tired of feeling enervated, drained and lifeless all the time. I wish Bill Clinton would rescue me from my own government and its luciferian puppetmasters and string puller. But it won't happen. I have to struggle to live life as meaninggully as I can, remembering people and heroes like Solzynshetin (too fucked up to look up spelling), or Nelson Mandela busting rocks for over 20 years. As long as I live I have to cling to hope. The most amazingly laughable thing about all this is that the goddamned religious zealots who are drugging me thinking that will lead to conversion have no idea what conversion is about. The fundamental prerequisite for conversion is a full life, even if only on a psychic level. The drugs steal my energy and not only prevent me from living a full life, but leave me depressed and angry at the fucking misery forced upon me. But these are people who have never experienced conversion themselves. If they had, they would not be forcing this shit on me. I have to get out the word to people what a toxic, deadly force such so-called religiuos leaders are. First I just have to have enough energy to function instead of waking up every morning hating life, and barely being able to drag myself thru day.