Sunday, August 30, 2009

Suffering unto the death

Suffering unto the death--suffierng i am enduring is thast of the death agony of soemone with brain tumor with mo painkillers. brain stem so strangulated i can barely move or keep eyes open. then comes the pain pain so severe i cant do anything but flail pray for death. everuthing messed up, appetite, sleeping, locomotion. i am in such fucked up shape that i recognize i am not capable of taking care of myself. hous is amess, sooner or later i will run out of tv dinners. i have to pay landlady but am too sick to drive to po or bank. i have to send in recepts in mail but brain can only function to the point of getting food, water, and to the toilet. running out of water too. god, hlp me , cant keep living like this, wonder how much , too sick to findish tohough.

later...walking around like aim drunk. mentally and physically i am drunk, u nable to focus concetnrate, walke or hold my balance. just wnat to dlay down nad sleep...beats agonizing pain i guess tho back is still locked. deosnt matter because i cant lift feet anyway. move by shuffling

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