Wednesday, May 13, 2009

More bad news for me

More bad news for me--the intensity of the lithium trauma done to my brain and face (caused by extreme swelling as the lymph nodes desperately tried to drain the overwhelming excess of csf) has caused facial structural changes. I couldn't figure out why in the last week I kept biting the sides of my tongue. Then today I realized that my teenage, pre-braces and surgery overbite had returned. Gee, nice to know that I have not only spent the last four years suffering torturous agony to satisfy sadistic govt psych bastards and opus dei religious nuts, but they also have undone and nullified all the suffering I endured as a teenager with that facial surgery. In addition, I am finding it difficult to breathe only through my nose, and want to breathe, as I did as a child, through my mouth. I even want to keep my mouth slightly open as I did as a pre-braces and surgery youngster-that is how I prevent myself from biting my tongue, but it's not healthy nor normal. But then neither is spending four years in torturous agony being drugged against my will while stupid asses try to destroy my mind, body, will, and spirit (and to some degree they have succeeded). Finally, I have noticed that these facial structural changes have also made a major difference in my bite. My mouth is closing. So far I have no TMJ pain but I fear that is next. Despite my overwhelming need for dental treatment , I havent been to a dentist in 5 or 6 years. Thanks to the goddamned torture brigade I can't get employment insurance or enough money to go. For the last four years, I have been fighting for my very physical existence too much to worry about my teeth. I do worry about these structural changes though--what caused it? Are the goddamned implants in my brain pushing pressure against my facial structure and muscles? Is my neck wrenched from the trauma caused by the pain I endured these last two weeks? For make no mistake--"level 10" does not even begin to describe the agony of what went on in my brain for the last two weeks, as I desperately tried to escape the pressure and pain. Did it force itself forward, altering my very face and visage? Who knows? All I know for sure is that I have yet another long lasting health problem and defect caused by my torturers. Veery depressing. Even my own face is mutilated by these fucking bastards. Keep your goddamned implants and RNA/DNA changes. I am a daughter of Eve, a human of the Earth, and I want nothing to do with you and your kind except to see the Second Coming of Christand the Archangel Michael to put you back in hell where you belong.

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