Agony, sheer hell and agony

Agony, sheer hell and agony is what I have suffered all day. writing this because i donto know how long i can stay awake, before i take painkillers to try to sleep, where no doubt, the goddamned jesuits/luciferians will attempt to hack my dream state again so i wake up in the same misery i fall asleep in. i dont care. the more i am tortured, the more i hate those sons of bitches and if the look of vapid vacuity in their mindwiped drones faces werent enouth, the torture i have been put thru, is. No matter the agony, the suffering, the pain, i will never let myself be used by these soulless machine minds. agony is pretty bad. have not showered in three days. cant lift legs into tub. could not stand long enough to take a shower. body too weak and in nerve pain from all the fluid. urine smells overwhelmingly lieke ammonia. worse of all, my own body doesnt even feel like my body. want my God given body back or to die. body hurts too much. soul hurts too much. but all i got to do is think about the alternative, and i gladly will suffer unto death, rather than participate in soul death that is the machine.