Time marches on

Time marches on--part of me wants to process the overwhelming religious abuse and violations I now have definitively identified, but part of me just wants to push forward. I can't change or undo what has happened. Besides, life is moving forward and I am in a very vulnerable position. I am dreading the lunar eclipse of tomorrow. I now suspect that the most recent genital mutilation that I suffered a few days ago was a imaginative cover for an even more insidious agenda. When I was castrated, I saw the reptilian under the aspect of Colleen. This most recent luciferian nightmare hid not only the mutilation of my God-given genitalia, but also, I think an interior surgical alteration of my vaginal canal. I think the luciferians, disappointed that I won't "come to POS Hans daddy" have decided to pass me over to the reptilians for rape. I can't be sure but I suspect that a large part of reptilian pleasure derives from inflicting pain--which may be why my vaginal canal lost its natural lubricant after the incident. I certainly don't want to be raped by a reptile, but at this point, I have suffered and lost so much, that I am resigned for the worst possible scenario. Actually, I know that I am in a much better position than many victims of the reptiles and Grays, for despite all the torture inflicted on me, I have maintained my sanity and my spiritual integrity.

What is the point of raping me? It goes further than finding another victim for rape--they have plenty of those--mostly abducted, innocent children and psychologically vulnerable young women. I think the satanist/luciferians rape me to find for ceremonial or ritualistic reasons. Because of my hermaphroditic nature and identity, I think they see me as "Adam"--not the first man, as per the traditional understanding of the biblical myth, but rather (and the text supports this deeper understanding), as the first, primordial and androgynous human being. They then took out my ribs and castrated me to make me Eve, the mythical first woman (at which point Adam becomes a gender differentiated man). Now I think the seed of the serpent intends to do a ritual rape/conception of my egg (s) which I know that they (Ratzinger--who is more satanist than luciferian) have. At this point, I am going to veer off into personal interpretation. Eve had two sons--one, Cain was a murderer, and the other Abel (and then later, Seth). Now the following is personal interpreation and hypothesis, but what if Cain was of reptilian lineage and Abel and Seth were the fruit of Adam's (the differentiated male) loins. I am not a biblical scholar trained in the ancient languages and exegesis, but reading chapters 3 and 4 with a critical eye, and then further on, Gn 5:3, I can see the possibility of textual support for such an understanding. What if the original sin was not committed by Eve at all, but perpetuated against her, as a rape by the "serpent," (or alien beings), so that she bore a child who was not in the "image and likeness" of Adam, as Seth was stated to be (Gn 5;3). What if the reason for patriarchal domination of women and the female circumcision were all a result of the trauma inflicted on both male and female psyche by the rape of reptiles, for unlike the "Watchers" or Annunaki, who are another humanoid alien species who found the daughters of Earth "fair", the reptilian form and malevolence would ensure that rape, and not seduction, would be the modus operandi of mating.

I recently forced myself to watch a video on the web that purported to decry the Illuminati and satanist reality ,but it was all disinformation, produced by satanists themselves! I knew because I saw the editor and a couple of people in it, and immediately recognized them as hard core satanists. I also knew because they kept showing the reptilian eye, which I think hypnotizes most humans, but which I can recognize and resist. I think the video was an attempt to reinforce subconscious satanic programming in abused victims who would click on, and watch it, but while the images disturbed me, I knew what was was the underlying intent, and did not allow myself to be hypnotized. However, one sequence really did disturb me--it was footage from the movie, "Rosemary's Baby." I never watch those kind of movies, and I despise Roman Polanski, who I know was involved with the satanic cult in Hollywood (and either because he disobeyed, or because he tried to get out, had another satanic disciple, Charles Manson, sent in to discipline his family). But this footage showed "Rosemary" (I guess) having intercourse (raped?--I don't know; the footage was not in context, and I have no desire to explore further) with Satan, which, as the video noted, "had reptilian features." As I watched the rape (Rosemary was tied down and didn't seem to be enjoying herself), I knew that this rape has been enacted upon human women before, from a very, very ancient time. Further, I know that this rape had to be heavily traumatic to both males and females, and I suspect that it is the origin of so much of patriarchal hatred towards the woman and her body and sexuality. I wonder if reptilian sadism is the origin of the cliterodectomy (and maybe even male circumcision), for the reptiles like to own and control and "tag" our sexuality, and males always are susceptible to identifying with the predator, while females are more likely to play victim. Remember, the reptiles derive sexual pleasure by inflicting pain on their victims, so that removing the clitoris and labia, and altering the vaginal canal so that there is no lubricant would be a first step in such a sacrificial rite. They also alter the human female vagina in other ways, but I can only guess....

Anyway, getting back to me, and my unasked for role in all this. What if the satanists/luciferians are ritually reenacting the first chapters of Genesis--taking a hermaphrodite, and cutting out a rib to make a woman. What if they hope to initiate a new line of "cursed humans", using my egg (s)--I don't know how many of them they got--but combined with reptilian DNA to turn out a progeny that is as violent and malevolent as they are? That is what bothers me most of all. But there is very little I can do about it...