I may need to take anoterh visit to fhospital--severe congestion behind eyes is messing with eyesight. congestion caused by the excessive histamine release caused by virus. eyes hurt to open, to move. can see the sweeling behind the eyeball, above and on the temple area. dont know if this is doing permanent damage. but pain is severe. pain in arms from some kind of tendonitis from fucked up muscle mutilation, pain in back from back being all messed up and pain in head from eyes. nothing i can do. i cannot stop the fucking nazi jesuits from downloiding their goddamned shit into my head. the histamine release is going to be aggravated by the haldol in my body, and the motherfucking pigs gav e me a monthly shot of it. its okay. i hope to die rahter than live in thsi body any logner.
cant read. realized today that what i forcex self to read yestercay was not comprehended. too fucked up. nor can i watch tv. cant bear iamges moving. shut my eyes and listen to dialogue. no monday nite fotball. deep pulsing pain from within right side of brain--too sic to look up part. lot of pain. lot of suffering. wish to die.
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