Trying to write a post about dreams

Trying to write a post about dreams, but it is lengthy, involved and sensitive, so I am trying to write it slowly, but life and evil interferes. I will say what I dreamed of last night--of Jacob Rothschild of which I know practically nothing except that I outed him as Pindar, the head of the evil reptile faction on Earth, a while back. I woke up, sick as a dog, knowing that the dream told me that this rotten, evil bastard still has power over my life, in some way, to some extent (how? what? why? I'm not sure--is someone I would trust selling me out as a bargaining chip?). My guess is that I am being prepped and groomed to be a high level aryan slave, or perhaps worse, some kind of reptilian zombie protege--but I'm too sick to get too complicated with this. I have been non-functional all day, suffering with migraines and nausea of a magnitude that I rarely experience. In addition, my ears are completely clogged with fluid and I have developed thrush of the mouth, something I have never had before. It really sucks to be tagged as a slave or protege of these satanic reptilians. I cannot read or write. I cannot even watch tv. Everything makes me sick. I have been trying to finish a book on the Arcturians, all for the sake of research, as it quite clear to me that they are luciferians. But the viral download hits every time I try to read it. At first I was pissed, thinking the good guys were responsible for the unnecessary censorship. After all, I have been reading provocative, edgy, and "dangerous" material since I was in the 6th grade, and I do not believe that anyone can be a truly virtuous, or "Christian" person as long as they actively repress thoughts and ideas because they are negative, "sinful," or downright evil. You have to be careful, especially when you are young, not to be overwhelmed or hooked by such negativity, but you will never be a complete and whole, ie "holy" person without an honest awareness of, and exposure to the dark side of life. Practically speaking, after knowing yourself, you have to know your enemy, and the luciferians, like the reptiles, are my enemy, and I seek out every opportunity, short of being connected to their infernal machine mind, of knowing them better. That is why I plow through so much dreck and drama and mendacity--for the small percentage, which is the nugget of truth.

Today was not a day for intense reading or research. I was just trying to watch a funny movie on tv to make me laugh in hopes of feeling better. So I started to watch a free on-demand movie, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was about lesbians. uh oh. Viral download hit so hard that I had to quit watching the movie, because I couldn't stand to be any sicker. It reminded me of the last time the viral download hit so hard while I watched a movie. It was "Bird," the story of a black, jazz, sax player who was married to a white woman. LOL That pissed off my mind control handlers, too (too bad, it was an excellent movie). At the time I wasn't ready to make the judgment that the PIBs, who monitor my every movement and media interaction, were making me sick when they monitored me watching movies of which they disapprove, but after getting the same intense, viral hit, within the first half hour of the lesbian movie, I KNEW that twice was more than a coincidence.

It seems that I know so very much, but am completely unable to free myself. I know that my mind control handlers do not like lesbians, sex, blacks, interracial relationships, creative talent, knowledge, or exercise-induced endorphins. Over the years, I would wonder why the viral download always hit when I would try to pray, read a book, play music on my dulcimer, or exercise. But now I get it--these sorry assed bastards, whether luciferians or satanists, are killjoys, because humans were created for joy, and love and desire, and these human haters cannot bear that we have joy and love and laughter in our life. I wish I could say that I were strong enough to be joyful and laughing today, but the truth is that I am so sick that I just wish to escape reality. I already have taken a fiornal and alka selzer--they didn't help much. I am trying to hold out for a couple of hours and then I will knock myself out with vicodin and tylenol pm ( better lay off the vodka, while I got this thrush in my mouth). Maybe inspiration will hitk, and I can figure out to free myself from this hell. Here's hoping tomorow is btetter.

Also, dreamed of damage being done to my retina...whether it is the excessive fluid on my poor optic area, or pathology caused by the constant, excessive high blood sugar that the viral download causes, I can't be sure. I just hope I am not at risk for vision loss again. It would be a great irony considering that I got these implants in me in the first place, in an attempt to save my eyesight.